Isaiah's Parenting Passage

Years ago my brother asked me to share with him one of my favorite scriptures. I don’t remember which one I referenced at that time but I do remember the scripture he shared with me. Isaiah 61:1-3

Now, not many people even read Isaiah, let alone find a favorite scripture among his writings, so I was intrigued. I asked him to explain why. Because of his explanation this passage of scripture is now one of my favorites as well.

This passage is a Messianic passage, meaning it is referencing the Savior and his role. My brother said we are told to become like the Savior and, if we are truly trying to be like Him, we will follow the example He set and do as He does. "That means this passage about the Savior applies to me as a husband and a father," he said. "This is what I need to become."

And, as he read the passage and applied it to his role in life, I realized it also applied to me...and to everyone no matter what roles we carry.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek;” Good tidings—good news. We are to preach the good news of the gospel to our families and friends. Leave the doom and gloom to the world and teach and reteach the blessings the Lord has instore for us.

“...he hath sent me to bind up the broken hearted,” This, my brother said, is one of his most important roles as a father. When his children have their hearts broken by life, he is to use his priesthood and his understanding of the gospel to help heal their hearts.

“...to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;” This phrase caused my brother to get a little emotional. As a parent and a man he was seeing how choices can imprison those we love. Yet, he said, when his children sin--and they will--he is not to throw them into a verbal or emotional prison with his response, criticism or belittling. If he is to be more like Christ, then he is to give them the key to repentance, help them see they can repent and change, and teach them in a loving and personal way the blessings that will come into their lives for staying close to the Savior. He is to help them open the prison doors and escape the captivity of their choices.

“To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God;” In this phrase the Lord is announcing a full year of acceptance and blessings and only one day of any kind of punishment. As a parent, my brother said he must always remember that 1:365 ratio. He smiled and said, “That tells me I only have one day every year I’m allowed to be upset. I have to keep my grumbling, harshness and complaining to under 24 hours. It puts it in prospective for me. Is getting upset about it really that important in the big picture of time? Probably not.”

“...to comfort all that mourn;” This, he said, is self explanatory. It is his calling to comfort his wife and children whenver they are mourning...not analyze whether they could have done something better. He is called to comfort them—not pick them apart. There are other times for teaching, but at the moment of their mourning he is to follows the Savior's example and give them comfort and hope. Period.

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes,” This, he said, was one of his favorite phrases in the passage. When the fires of life burn the self-confidence of a family member or friend, or when doubts plague them into feeling they are of little value, a Christ-like person will point out their strengths and inner qualities. He will help them see beauty where others may see only ashes. In the midst of their trials, he will help them notice the ways they are growing and thriving and succeeding every day. He will give them beauty for ashes.

“...the oil of joy for mourning,” My brother said he is to use prayer and his priesthood often to bless his family and bring joy into their lives. The oil of joy should also be what he carries whenever he is around them. Families are a tremendous joy and blessing.

“...the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;” When life weighs them down, he is to make sure his words dress them in praise and hope.

“...that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.” My brother knows that if he fulfills his role as a Christ-like husband and father, his family will become trees of righteousness—strong, with deep roots and well-spread branches and the Lord will be glorified for that planting.

That passage of scripture is a good touchstone for all of us. Since that day, years ago, I have never forgotten the gift my brother gave me by sharing one of his favorite scriptures with me.

Out of the mouth of babes...

Mom and Dad, I want to share with you what your teenagers said in Sunday School class today. As part of our lesson I had them randomly draw pieces of paper with different scripture passages listed on them. Then I had them silently read that story and share something new they learned from it.

Your son—the one that you think may not go on a mission but pursue an athletic scholarship instead--randomly drew the story of Gideon selecting his troops for a battle against the Midianites. (Judges 7). After reading it, do you know the impression he shared?

“I found it interesting that Gideon started out with 32,000 soliders but the Lord said that there were too many soldiers--because if they fought the Midianites with that many, they might say ‘Mine own hand hath saved me.’ So God told Gideon to tell the soldiers that anyone who was afraid needed to go home and 22,000 men went home. That was alot who were afraid and left.”

Then he said this, “But, I guess that’s probably a good thing they went home, because if you are afraid you’re a liability to all the rest; and the Lord can’t really use you because you don’t have the kind of faith He needs you to have to work a miracle. If you want to see miracles in your life, you can't be afraid. You can't let fear chase you away. You have to have faith.”

And your daughter, who has life-long health issues, randomly drew the second half of Gideon’s story about surrounding the enemy with trumpets and lanterns. She said she immediately thought of how a trumpet is on top of the temples and the light of Christ rests inside them, and if we remember to declare His truth with a trump of God and let our light break forth from deep inside us where we sometimes want to keep it hidden, then we can conquer the enemy—no matter how numerous they are or how small we are. "The temples will help us surround our enemies and win our battles."

And your other son, the one who is struggling with peer pressure, drew the story of Peter walking on the water. (Matt. 14) This is what he said:

“I found it sad because Peter got distracted by what was going on around him and lost his focus on the Savior. If I was in the presence of the Savior I wouldn't want to look anywhere else but at His face, yet Peter didn't do that. He started looking at the waves and the storm and everything that was going on around him. Even Peter found a way to be afraid in the presence of the Savior, and that’s when he started to sink. I think, sometimes we can be like that. We can be right there, right where the Savior can reach out and touch us, but we forget that and we start looking at everything else. We should always look straight at Him and then we won't be afraid when He asks us to do something, even if it seems overwhelming, like walking on the water.”

And your son, who is so quiet that you find it hard to see inside his soul, was asked to share a new impression about the story of Eli and the boy Samuel (1 Samuel 3). “I thought it was neat that each time the Lord called him, Samuel got up and went to Eli. He didn’t just lay in bed and call out and say, 'what do you want, Eli?' He actually got up out of bed and went to Eli’s room. You have to be a very faithful person to get up and go every time you’re called—especially when it's the middle of the night and you’re tired and doing something else, like sleeping. So that tells me Samuel was faithful and very willing to do what was right even if he was tired and wanting to sleep and I want to be like that.”

(By the way, I found that quiet son of yours at the church the other day because he was following an impression that he needed to go there, even though he didn't know why. Yes, he is already showing signs of being faithful like that and is willing to go and answer the call of the Spirit, even if he doesn't fully know why.)

So, Mom and Dad, you’re teenagers are doing great! If you ever want to know what is stirring down inside their souls, all you have to do is ask me, their Sunday School teacher. I will tell you you are raising some great children. They are aware of the individual struggles they are facing and they are finding the Lord's voice in the scriptures as it speaks to them. So, keep loving them. Keep praying for them. Keep teaching them and doing what you are doing. It's working!

Alma 29--a promise, not a platitude

“O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!

"Yea I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth.

"But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.

“I ought not to harrow up in my desires…”

How many times have we used this passage of scripture to soothe ourselves through a disappointment? We say, look at Alma. He understood disappointment. He knew what it was like to accept and be content with less than what he originally wanted.

But that kind of look at that passage of scriptures causes us to miss what Alma was really pointing out...

Alma said, I ought not to harrow up in my desires. Harrow means to be distressed or broken up. He is saying he shouldn't be distressed or broken up over his desires not being realized right then. That is an interesting comment...but it is true.

You see, Alma was stating that he wished he could take the gospel to all the earth and cry repentance unto every people as “with the trump of God.” He wanted to teach the whole world about the plan of Salvation and how to change and come unto Christ…the gospel was that important to him!

But he was one little missionary in the Americas…probably only spoke one, maybe two languages, could only preach where he could walk. How in the world was he going to get his message out to the whole world and to every people and language, like he wanted?

Yet, despite the physical limitations of his life, Alma trusted the Lord--He also understood the plan in its eternal sense and that is why he boldly declared… “for I know that he granteth unto men accord to their desire.”

Now look at this picture with the angel Moroni and tell me whether or not God ignored Alma's wish?

Alma 29 is one of the most wonderful, powerful and exciting testimonies that God does grant unto men according to their desire! He does hear and answer prayers—it just takes time sometimes, but God granted Alma his wish!

Alma's message IS going to all the world, in over 100 different languages—to places he never could have dreamed about! His voice is still declaring repentance and the plan of redemption. In fact, the Lord granted Alma his wish in such detail that, for years, there was an image of a trump of God in the mouth of an angel on the cover of the Book of Mormon!

God is much more generous and loving than we can even comprehend. He stands so ready to grant us the righteous desires of our hearts!

"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you..." (3 Nephi 18:20)

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.” (D&C 6:7-8)

Alma did much good in his generation…and he is still doing much good generations later.

Alma 29 is a wonderful testament to Alma's righteous heart, and to God.

It is also a wonderful promise for us. In time, God will grant unto us according to our righteous desires.

And that is worth waiting for!

When marriage hurts

Years ago, during a difficult time in her marriage, my niece called me. As we talked she asked if I ever had second thoughts about my marriage. I answered her with complete candor. “If I had known then what I know now I never would have dated him, let alone married him!”

My answer stunned her and she asked, “then why do you stay married to him?”

“Because,” I responded, “if I could know now what he will be like ten, twenty or thirty years in the future I may find myself saying I never would have wanted to marry anyone else.”

So often we get so caught up in the immediate world around us, tinted and splattered with dirt from the past that we have a hard time looking forward toward the beautiful colors awaiting us on the horizon…and that includes the beauty of marriage.

All of my children know one of the most important decisions they will make is who to marry. But I have also told my children that is just the easy, first decision. Each one of them, at some point after their marriage, will have to seriously decide whether or not to stay married.

It’s a test that all marriages must face it.

Some marriages and spouses will have to answer this question only once. Others seem to have to answer it on an almost daily basis.

The test, I tell them, isn't about whether or not they can get married. Any two people can do that. The real test is about deciding to stay married when things go bad...especially if they go really bad. When the immediate world around them gets dirty, when the mud from past decisions seems to cover their entire view, will they keep their eye on the horizon? Most importantly, when it’s hard to want to keep their promise to their spouse, will they keep their promise to the Lord?

There will be times when all of us will be disappointed by our chosen partner—deeply hurt, let down, offended or even ashamed. That is part of marriage. It is learning to deal with the deepest emotions of every kind, the good and the bad, when our hearts are so closely tied to the outcome.

There may be times—even long periods of time—when we don’t respect our spouse, don’t love our spouse, don’t even like our spouse. What then?

I love Proverbs 31, but verse 26 is especially poignant when marriages are struggling. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

It doesn’t matter how someone is treating us. What matters is how we treat them. When we are hurt, let us try to respond with kindness. When we are disappointed, let us try to announce our appreciation. When we are let down, let us find ways to give sincere compliments.

“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm…even so the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things.” (James 3:4-5)

When the words and actions of our spouses seem fierce, unforgiving, even harsh; when we feel the storm is too great to pass through, let us remember to find tiny ways to verbally express our love and appreciation to our spouses. And let us share with others, and the Lord, the things we appreciate and admire about our eternal companions.

The power of kind, gentle and soothing words is immeasurable...and we may find it can eventually turn even the largest, most storm-locked ships.

Remember, Christ also used words when he calmed the raging seas. And what did he speak?

“Peace.”

When Naaman, the leper, went off the clock

Have you ever met a Naaman?

The story of Naaman is an interesting account with a lot of backstory. Naaman was the head captain for the king of Syria. Syria was a neighboring enemy of Israel and battles between them had see-sawed their borders for years.

Naaman was known as a great man, honourable and mighty in valour…so honourable that "by him the Lord had given deliverance unto Syria.” Think about what that meant to Israel...through Israel's sins and Naaman's valor, the Lord let Syria gain the upperhand!

Yet, Naaman's life wasn't all metals and honor. He had a personal problem—leprosy. In fact, this problem was bringing him a slow, torturous death.

During one of his forays into battle against Israel, Naaman had brought back at least one captive for his wife, a little maid. A young girl. Now, I am sure that being taken captive was very traumatic for that little maid. She found herself a slave in the enemy’s house but there must have been some honor and greatness in the way they treated her because this little maid showed concern for Naaman’s condition and told her mistress, “Would God my lord were with the prophet that is in Samaria! For he would recover him of his leprosy.”

How many of us wish healing on our enemies?

The little maid's statement intrigued not only Naaman's wife, but Naaman and even the king of Syria. In fact, the king was so desperate to save his favorite captain that he sent Naaman to Israel with a personal letter pleading for Israel’s help in healing this great captain who had led battles against them. Syria’s king also sent ten talents of silver (750 pounds), along with 6,000 pieces of gold.

Now, we don’t know how much those 6,000 pieces of gold weighed. We do know a shekel, a type of ancient coin, weighed just over 15 grams. So, to be conservative, let’s say those gold pieces each weighed 10 grams. That would be about 132 pounds of gold.

I just checked the market value today and gold is at $1,661 an ounce and silver is running at $31.40 an ounce. That would mean 132 pounds of gold would be worth $3.5 million and 750 pounds of silver would bring $376,800. The king of Syria sent, from his own coffers, almost $4 million dollars to buy Naaman’s health from his enemy. He truly loved Naaman and put his personal reputation (the letter) and his pocketbook on the line for this man.

So Naaman arrived at the enemy’s palace and Israel’s king—worried a failure to save Naaman’s life could cause new battles to erupt between the two countries—rent his clothes in despair and asked, “Am I God, to kill and to make alive?”

Letters, the threat of war, millions in gold…none of it could save Naaman.

But this story isn’t about worldly enemies or earthly bank accounts. There is a spiritual story going on with this that is greater than all the power and wealth in the world.

You see, Naaman didn’t know about the Lord or his prophets; yet only the Lord’s chosen servant had the power to save Naaman’s life.

That is true today. Millions of people in the world are slowly and spiritually dying because they don’t know the truth…that the Lord speaks to men through prophets.

“Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.” (Amos 3:7)

And we know that He is “the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever,” (Heb. 13:8) so it just stands to reason that prophets would still be the way He communicates with man.

But people today don't know or understand that truth anymore than Naaman did. Like Naaman, they are dying and nothing they are doing is going to bring them peace or healing, even if they do have $4 million in their bank account and stand in palaces and mansions.

So, that’s when Elisha showed up. He went to the palace, where everyone was in an uproar, and told the king to send Naaman to his house. He could have healed Naaman there, so why didn't he?

That is key…Naaman had to redirect his search. He had to go looking for a prophet of God.

“So Naaman came…and stood at the door of the house of Elisha.” (2 Kings 5:9)

“And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.” (2 Kings 5:10)

We all know what happened next. Naaman got upset! Here he sat in front of a humble abode with all this wealth and power…in the middle of enemy territory...at the risk of being captured and killed...sent by the directives of two world kings…and the prophet sends out an errand boy!

Naaman's anger was most likely a result of his pride. He thought he'd done enough. He thought he was enough.

Naaman wanted a "miracle", a show…a striking of the disease and a calling on the Lord that would drive the leprosy from his body in one fantastical instant while he just stood there and watched.

But the Lord doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t put on stage shows. He quietly starts His miracles only when we are finally ready to work and receive that miracle in our lives.

Naaman wasn’t ready. He didn't want to go bathe seven times in the River Jordan. He didn't want to take part in his own miracle. He even grumbled that the waters in his own country were better than all the waters of Israel. Irritated, offended, not willing to do what the prophet instructed, Naaman left--willing, instead, to die for his decision.

So, I ask again...have we ever met a Naaman?

Have we ever been like Naaman—wanting the Lord to perform some fantastical miracle without us having to do anything? Or maybe we grumble because we think our lifestyle is better than what the Lord proposes.

That’s when his servants stop him and point out a simple truth…that truth is simple. If your life is at stake, why won’t you do what the prophet asks? Just try it. Test the words of a prophet. See what happens.

These were servants who spoke the words that changed Naaman’s life--not his family, not a king, not even his officers...but plain, simple servants who obviously risked Naaman’s reaction to kindly speak up, with concern, and say something about prophets.

And Naaman heard them.

So “humbling himself, he went forth complying and lo! the blessing directly followed.” (Lorenzo Snow)

Therein lies another great spiritual truth in this story… “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

“And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” (D&C 130:20-21)

Blessings are based on obedience…not timing!

Naaman walked away from a testimony of a living prophet unready, at that time, to obey and comply. Later, when he was finally ready, he returned and did what the prophet asked and the scriptures tell us "his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean...and he said, Behold, now I know that there is no God in all the earth, but in Israel."(2 Kings 5:14-15) He still received the same promised blessing.

There are many Naaman’s in life. For a variety of reasons they walk away from the counsel of the Lord’s prophets. Yet, in time, when others say the right things to them, those words of the prophet will return to their minds. They will feel compelled to “wash and be clean” and, when they do they will receive the same promised blessing.

Yes, the blessing may come later in their life, and they will suffer in the meantime, but this one truth is clear and simple: the Lord’s blessings are based on obedience…not the clock.

Isn't that nice to know?

The Intruder

At 5:30 this morning my second son turned on the hall light and poked his head in our bedroom door. This is a son who hates getting up early for any reason, especially on a Saturday morning. My husband asked him what was wrong.

Worry filled his voice.“I just saw someone in my room and they walked up stairs.”

“You must have seen one of your brothers or sisters,” my husband responded.

“No, I checked on them and they are all in their beds sound asleep.”

Still groggy and not wanting to wake up too much, my husband pulled the covers over his shoulder. “Then you must have been dreaming.”

Not about to concede to that explanation, my son protested. “No, I wasn’t dreaming. I could hear someone breathing and that’s what woke me up. Then I saw the shape of someone beside my bed. I watched them walk up the stairs. That’s why I’m up here.”

I got out of bed and went to help my son, who was obviously upset by the situation and was checking every closet and room in the house.

When I joined my son in the early morning sweep, he told me he wasn’t dreaming or making it up. I already knew that. That's why I was up, too. I knew he had seen someone in his room.

My son again told me he had heard breathing and opened his eyes. That’s when he saw someone moving around his room. Then my son gave me a bit more information. The person stumbled over something before leaving the room and heading upstairs.

Stumbling over something was a key piece of evidence— That is not something you randomly make up.

Though I knew he had actually seen someone in his room, I did not feel alarm. Still, I wanted to be sure my family and home were completely secure, so my son and I checked the rest of the house together. As we quietly searched the house I told him I didn’t think it was a prowler because it was 5:30 in the morning and that was an usual time for a prowler. Besides, our dog was up and needing to go outside and if there was a stranger in the house, he would have reacted to it.

Comforted by my help, our concluded search and (I hope) my words, my son went back downstairs to bed. I decided to stay up and study my Sunday School lesson.

About 8:30 in the morning our youngest son woke up. He came out and sat at the kitchen table to visit. As he chattered away he asked if I wondered why he was sleeping in his own bed last night.

"No," I answered. (I honestly had not wondered why he slept in his own bed.) "That’s where you always sleep.

My youngest son shook his head and told me his older brother had invited him to sleep downstairs with him last night after he got home.

“So I laid in my bed and tried to stay awake until he got home but I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again it was five in the morning."

The timing caught my interest. Maybe he had seen or heard someone, too.

My youngest chattered on. "I guess I didn’t hear him come home so I went downstairs to his room.

Hmmmm...

He continued. "I lay there for a while but I didn’t bring a blanket so I got cold. That’s when I decided to just come back up stairs to my own bed but I tripped over his shoes when I was leaving."

Ah-ha!

My youngest looked at me, concerned. "He really needs to pick up his shoes because I tripped on them when I went downstairs, too. Anyway, that’s why I was sleeping in my bed this morning.”

Story finished. Mystery solved.

The intruder was my youngest son, eager and anxious to have a “slumber party” with his very cool, older brother. So anxious and exited to be invited and considered one of the “big boys” that--even at five in the morning--it was still important enough to him that he went downstairs to spend time with his brother. Even though the night was almost gone and his brother was asleep, my youngest still wanted to be with with his beloved, older brother.

I was touched by all the love that simple little gesture showed.

I was also touched by the love of my older son who, when thinking the house was in peril by the intrusion of a stranger, got up and checked on his brothers and sisters first, before doing anything else. Then he, on his own, spent time checking the entire home to make sure no threat to his family remained.

All in all, I thought it was a perfect way to wake up early on a Saturday morning.

Cleaning house: should we be perfect or faithful?

We were talking in church today about preparing ourselves to be worthy to stand before the Lord either at His coming or when we leave this life. One woman made an interesting observation.

“It’s like when friends show up at your house unannounced and the house is a mess. If I’ve been watching a movie, I feel guilty and embarrassed but, if I have been running around working to take care of other needs for my family or my friends then, if the house is a mess, I will have an entirely different feeling. I may not like the messy house. I may feel embarrassed about them seeing the mess. I may wish things were different but I won’t feel guilty. I won’t feel like I am a failure because I will know I was busy working hard at other things that needed my attention.”

She likened that to meeting the Savior. She said when we face Him in the next life, if our spiritual house is messy because we’ve been lounging around watching movies, so to speak, and spending our time in leisure, worldly pursuits, we will feel guilty.

But, if we’ve been running around serving others, fulfill our callings, and trying to do good things to the best of our ability then when those messes are seen by Him we may feel embarrassed. We may wish things were different but we won’t feel guilty. We will know we were working hard throughout our day.

I liked that analogy. We don’t have the time or ability to solve every problem in this life and clean up every messy spot in our personal world. We will all die imperfect in some areas but those who have dedicated their lives to working as hard as they can at the things the Lord has asked them to do will know their time of labor was well spent.

In the parable of the Kingdom of Heaven, Christ never claimed the Lord said, well done thou good and perfect servant.

Instead, “His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou has been faithful over a few things. I will make thee ruler over many things; enter thou into the joy of thy lord.” (Matt. 25:21)

He is not asking us to be perfect servants. He just wants us to be faithful ones, to do our best, and not waste our time--so we won't feel guilty when we face Him. Best of all, if we try our best to be faithful, I know the Lord is the kind of friend who will say, ‘you’ve been so busy doing other things, let me help you with the rest.’

That is the kind of Savior I know and love.