Before we can change a nation we must change our homes.

The election, which divided the country in the preceding months, has left a gouge across the nation in its post-election outcome. Verbal protests and physical violence are being reported every day.

Now, I am just one little citizen who cast one little vote. As I went to the polls I saw my choices as voting for a Crook or a Crazy. Yes, I could have voted for a third party or even used the write-in slot and I debated that back and forth throughout the long months leading up to the election; but I realized voting that way wasn’t going to help. If I wanted to protect what I valued I needed to vote for one of the Two.

At some point my vote leaned toward each of the candidates in turn—in fact, I was constantly back and forth between the two until Election Morning. Finally, in the end, I did vote for one of them—not because I wanted that person in office but because I realized I did not want the other person there. This election, for the first time ever, I cast my vote—not to put someone into office but to try and keep the other person out.

Who got my one, tiny vote doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I’m not protesting nor acting like a spoiled child in the store who was just told they couldn’t have the toy they wanted; nor taunting another child because their toy was taken away. (Personally, I didn’t want either toy but that is not my direction here.)

Why am I not protesting? Because I realize two things.

One--in the big picture, the President of the United States is simply a figurehead. He or She wields no real power except in the Executive sense. In other words, the President is the biggest “Yes-Man” or “Yes-Woman” in the world. The real power in this Nation is held by our Legislative Branch—our elected Representatives and Senators. (The term “Congress” is a blanket term used to describe the collective powers of the House and Senate. A Congressman is either a Representative or a Senator.)

Sure, the President can sign or veto laws presented by the “Congress”. However, if the law is vetoed, it is sent back to the House and the Senate and can still be brought to law no matter what the President said by a “Simple Majority” vote or by a two-thirds vote in both the House and the Senate.

As for committing our soldiers to war, the President technically has that power but, again, it is limited and can be rejected by Congress.

The only real power the President holds is the power to appoint; and most of those appointments will change when the Presidency does. The only appointment that has any lasting effect on the nation is the Presidential power to appoint a judge to the Supreme Court.

That said, the real power in this nation is NOT held by the President…disappointing as it may be to every protester and naysayer out there. It is held by our elected officials in the House and the Senate. In our Nation, the President always functions with one hand tied behind his or her back and our Representatives and Senators hold that rope.

Two—and here is the bigger view I have. Whenever there is a swing in political power it is GOOD. Power swings mean that that groups who were not the pet-projects of the previous power will now get their time of needed attention. It means that no one special interest group will dominate for decades.

Yes, in our country, ALL the wheels squeak ALL the time. Every group needs and wants political attention. Every power swing mean that a new and different wheel will now get their much needed oiling…and we should be glad for the members of those groups. Glad because we know how much we benefited when our causes were oiled.

And when a power shift means OUR groups won’t be getting enough oil we can remember that it is very difficult for a new President to rescind any previous laws or protections. We will still be protected because the advances made under a previous president are not easily cast aside. They will remain while a new President—only with the approval and support of Congress—focuses on helping other groups make new advancements. The democratic process of our nation is a win-win process. We just have to wait awhile for our turn sometimes, and allow others to have their turns.

Now here is something else I know. And this is the hardest admission of all. The Presidential office does not have a “trickle down” effect. The President will not ruin our national core and fiber. Only we will do that. And if we don't like the direction our nation is headed we do NOT need to look to the President. We need to look in the mirror.

Because “individuals” vote in each President, the Presidential Office is an upward reflection of our individual values! Each President--who is a product of the homes in this nation--shows what we are, or are not, teaching in the home. (Schools cannot override the influence of the home, so don’t even try to pin that responsibility on the school system.)

If we do not like who is voted into office, rather than ransack and scream and show our hatred, we should go back to our homes and start there to teach and MODEL values of tolerance, kindness, and forgiveness. Then, maybe in 20 years we will elect a President who truly reflects those values. Before we can change a nation we must change our homes.

And that change won’t happen if we are out on the streets. It will happen only as we quietly and consistently gather our children and family members around us in love and tolerance, and teach them that the worth of all souls is great—even those souls who will be helped by a President we may or may not have voted for.

The Intruder

At 5:30 this morning my second son turned on the hall light and poked his head in our bedroom door. This is a son who hates getting up early for any reason, especially on a Saturday morning. My husband asked him what was wrong.

Worry filled his voice.“I just saw someone in my room and they walked up stairs.”

“You must have seen one of your brothers or sisters,” my husband responded.

“No, I checked on them and they are all in their beds sound asleep.”

Still groggy and not wanting to wake up too much, my husband pulled the covers over his shoulder. “Then you must have been dreaming.”

Not about to concede to that explanation, my son protested. “No, I wasn’t dreaming. I could hear someone breathing and that’s what woke me up. Then I saw the shape of someone beside my bed. I watched them walk up the stairs. That’s why I’m up here.”

I got out of bed and went to help my son, who was obviously upset by the situation and was checking every closet and room in the house.

When I joined my son in the early morning sweep, he told me he wasn’t dreaming or making it up. I already knew that. That's why I was up, too. I knew he had seen someone in his room.

My son again told me he had heard breathing and opened his eyes. That’s when he saw someone moving around his room. Then my son gave me a bit more information. The person stumbled over something before leaving the room and heading upstairs.

Stumbling over something was a key piece of evidence— That is not something you randomly make up.

Though I knew he had actually seen someone in his room, I did not feel alarm. Still, I wanted to be sure my family and home were completely secure, so my son and I checked the rest of the house together. As we quietly searched the house I told him I didn’t think it was a prowler because it was 5:30 in the morning and that was an usual time for a prowler. Besides, our dog was up and needing to go outside and if there was a stranger in the house, he would have reacted to it.

Comforted by my help, our concluded search and (I hope) my words, my son went back downstairs to bed. I decided to stay up and study my Sunday School lesson.

About 8:30 in the morning our youngest son woke up. He came out and sat at the kitchen table to visit. As he chattered away he asked if I wondered why he was sleeping in his own bed last night.

"No," I answered. (I honestly had not wondered why he slept in his own bed.) "That’s where you always sleep.

My youngest son shook his head and told me his older brother had invited him to sleep downstairs with him last night after he got home.

“So I laid in my bed and tried to stay awake until he got home but I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again it was five in the morning."

The timing caught my interest. Maybe he had seen or heard someone, too.

My youngest chattered on. "I guess I didn’t hear him come home so I went downstairs to his room.

Hmmmm...

He continued. "I lay there for a while but I didn’t bring a blanket so I got cold. That’s when I decided to just come back up stairs to my own bed but I tripped over his shoes when I was leaving."

Ah-ha!

My youngest looked at me, concerned. "He really needs to pick up his shoes because I tripped on them when I went downstairs, too. Anyway, that’s why I was sleeping in my bed this morning.”

Story finished. Mystery solved.

The intruder was my youngest son, eager and anxious to have a “slumber party” with his very cool, older brother. So anxious and exited to be invited and considered one of the “big boys” that--even at five in the morning--it was still important enough to him that he went downstairs to spend time with his brother. Even though the night was almost gone and his brother was asleep, my youngest still wanted to be with with his beloved, older brother.

I was touched by all the love that simple little gesture showed.

I was also touched by the love of my older son who, when thinking the house was in peril by the intrusion of a stranger, got up and checked on his brothers and sisters first, before doing anything else. Then he, on his own, spent time checking the entire home to make sure no threat to his family remained.

All in all, I thought it was a perfect way to wake up early on a Saturday morning.

You married who??!!!

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How well I remember the phone call my husband received. His sister called to tell him the big news: she was engaged.

She then enthusiastically told him of every quality her future husband possessed. My husband hardly spoke at all.

After the phone call I asked my sweetheart, “So, how is he?”

“Apparently perfect.”

Smiling with knowledge I said, “Ask her if she still thinks he’s perfect 20 years from now.”

We both laughed over that one.

It has been said we should enter marriage with our eyes wide open and after marriage keep them half shut.

All too often the opposite happens. Because of giddy romance we don’t see clearly before marriage and after marriage our eyes fly open wide—in horror! We can’t believe we married that!!

Well, prior to my marriage I vowed I would find the perfect husband. I spent hours of teenage time creating lists of attributes he would have to have for me to love him for eternity. My list varied over time but the first five qualities were always the same: tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, love spaghetti, want to live in Arizona.

So, how did I do?

We live in Montana and I also struck out on the tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed pseudo Italian part. In fact, I can safely say that spaghetti is far down on his list of favorite meals.

But you know what? He eats it anyway! And there are times, when things are hectic at home, he actually suggests it for dinner--and even helps me make it! How can you not love a man like that? What I originally thought was a ‘weakness’ has endeared him to me more than if he loved spaghetti!

"I will make weak things become strong unto them," promised the Lord. (Ether 12:27)

We don’t need perfect spouses. (In fact, none of us have them.) But marriage isn’t about marrying perfect, it is about becoming perfect.

We must make the choice to keep our eyes wide open after marriage—in appreciation. We can and should see the sacrifices and small gestures of devotion that surround us…both spoken and unspoken. And then we should verbally express gratitude for them.

A friend and college professor said something very wise. “I find that when I remember to praise my students and point out their gifts and make assignments clear, their work improves as they try to meet that standard. Criticism never seems to bring improvement, although it is easier to give and seems so necessary. It also crushes the spirit.”

He is so right. Good feelings escalate and enlarge. Criticism defeats and deflates their spirit…not just in the classroom but in life.

Mostly, though, criticism crushes us.

“He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil and have that which is evil restored unto you.” (Helaman 14:31)

When we do something good for our spouses--when we praise them and point out their special gifts--our marriage improves, positive feelings and works escalate, and the Spirit returns.

It’s a promise and eternal principle from God--

“For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored.” Alma 41:15
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Love and laughter are the music of home

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I have often said that the sweetest sound I hear is the sound of my children laughing together and enjoying each other. How grateful I am that we hear that sound often in our home.

However, when they do argue or spit out insulting words at one another, a spirit changes inside of the home and something inside of me grows grey and aches. It is a sorrow I cannot explain but it is a feeling I know Heavenly Father understands, personally.

In Moses 7 Enoch beheld the heavens and the earth. He saw generation upon generation and he beheld Satan and his angels rejoicing at the darkness upon the earth.

Then he was blessed to see righteous “angels descending out of heaven, bearing testimony of the Father and Son; and the Holy Ghost fell upon many, and they were caught up by the powers of heaven into Zion.”

Then, after this marvelous sight Enoch records “that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people and he wept.

“And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity? And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations.”

Then Enoch points out the wonderful things the Lord has done: He is always there for us, He has taken Zion to his own bosom and “naught but peace, justice and truth is the habitation of thy throne…how is it thou canst weep?”

Then God, the ever-loving and involved Father replies, “these thy brethren, they are the workmanship of mine own hands and I gave unto them their knowledge…(and) agency…And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another and that they should choose me, their Father…but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood.”

He saw His children hating each other, bickering, arguing, not getting along...and worse.

And because they could not get along, He saw someting more--“misery shall be their doom...wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?”

He did not want them to suffer because they could not love each other and get along. He felt concern for their future.

Then, when Enoch saw that the Lord’s plan, when he understood the depth of love--and of the sorrow--the Lord felt, and comprehended the sacrifice He and his Only Begotten were willing to make so His children would better understand love, “Enoch knew..and wept, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook.”

God doesn’t just want us to learn to share the toys. He wants us to learn to share the world and He weeps when we cannot do so simple a thing as love one another. He weeps because He knows if we can't share and love each other here, we won't be able to there.

Why? Because we won't make into Heaven. "that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." (Alma 34:34)

Heaven is for families who love each other and for people who love all mankind.

How I love to hear the music of good, righteous laughter; of loving families enjoying each other; of strangers loving and helping strangers. It lifts home--and the entire world--a little closer to Heaven.

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