Ye are the salt of the earth--so why not sugar?

Christ teaches, “Ye are the salt of the earth” and he tells us “Have salt in yourselves” (see Matt. 5:13 and Mark 9:50). Yet most of the earth craves sugar. In America each individual consumes an average of 156 pounds of sugar per year and we eat less than two pounds of salt every year. That's a big difference.

Crystallized, granulated sugar was around at least 800 years before Christ so the Savior definitely knew about the sweet commodity, yet he told us to be like salt, not sugar. Why, especially when sugar can taste so...sweet?

Anciently, salt was used to preserve food and keep it from spoiling. It was used at every temple sacrifice to preserve the sacrifice from corruption, to symbolize divine protection from corruption, and to give enhancement to the flavor and smell of the sacrifice. In fact, so essential was it to the sacrificial ordinances that salt became the symbol of covenants (Lev. 2:13, Numbers 18:19 and 2 Chron. 13:5).

It was used to greet each newborn child, being rubbed onto their bodies to tighten and protect the skin.

Salt also became the symbol of fidelity. In fact salt, untarnished by worldly contaminants, last indefinitely.

For all those reasons, we can see why Christ would have asked us to be the salt of the earth.

Yet, there are some other reasons we may not readily know.

Salt is a natural mineral while sugar is not. Salt is necessary for life. Sugar is not.

To become sugar a natural source such as sugarcane or sugarbeets, must be cooked and processed and boiled into a syrup to which lime is added. As the sugar crystallizes in the syrup, it is skimmed off, dried and even bleached with sulphur dioxide to produce a false white color.

In fact, sugar looks so similar to salt that, for the untrained eye, it is difficult to visually tell the difference. In many ways, salt and sugar are like wheat and tares.

One way to tell the difference, though, is that sugar dissolves easily in water and salt does not. Try this experiment. Add 1/3 c. of water to two clear glasses. Into one glass add two teaspoons of sugar. To the other glass add two teaspoons of salt. Stir them both equally. You will see that the salt does not readily dissolve in the water and will color the water white. Sugar, on the other hand, melts easily in the water and quickly disappears from view. This resistance to dissolving is one reason things float easier on salty water than on sugary water.

In life, Christ does not want us to melt easily in the influence of the world. When life stirs us up, he wants us to remain separate—white and pure, able to influence those around us rather than being influenced by the world and quickly melting away from view.

Another interesting truth about sugar is that it becomes sticky, whereas salt does not. The hydrogen molecules in sugar bond to other molecules and form a weak glue. Once you get sugar on your hands all sorts of things seem to stick to you...hair, dirt, etc. And that stickiness spreads. Touch something after handling sugar and it gets sticky, too. Then that object also begins to attract dirt and grime. Spill something sweet and it takes great effort to clean it up and remove all traces of stickiness.

Salt, on the other hand, actually cleans away dirt and grime.

But for me, one of the greatest reasons Christ may have asked us to be like salt is that fact that salt crystals are always the same. In fact, so consistent are salt crystals that you can actually mix sugar and salt together and still separate them based on sight alone.

Look at salt granules up close (if you have a magnifying glass that is even better). Salt always forms perfect, uniform cubes--like tiny boxes. Sugar, on the other hand, forms all sorts of different shapes and sizes from small to large, to rectangular to fractured.

Christ wants us to be consistent throughout our lives: to be true to our covenants and not fractured or of random conformity like sugar. Like the straight, clean sides on a cube of salt, the Savior wants us to be straight and honest in all that we do and live a clean and consistent life so that, no matter what side is viewed, we still project the same true character…that people can pick us out from the worldly sugar crystals around us.

The Intruder

At 5:30 this morning my second son turned on the hall light and poked his head in our bedroom door. This is a son who hates getting up early for any reason, especially on a Saturday morning. My husband asked him what was wrong.

Worry filled his voice.“I just saw someone in my room and they walked up stairs.”

“You must have seen one of your brothers or sisters,” my husband responded.

“No, I checked on them and they are all in their beds sound asleep.”

Still groggy and not wanting to wake up too much, my husband pulled the covers over his shoulder. “Then you must have been dreaming.”

Not about to concede to that explanation, my son protested. “No, I wasn’t dreaming. I could hear someone breathing and that’s what woke me up. Then I saw the shape of someone beside my bed. I watched them walk up the stairs. That’s why I’m up here.”

I got out of bed and went to help my son, who was obviously upset by the situation and was checking every closet and room in the house.

When I joined my son in the early morning sweep, he told me he wasn’t dreaming or making it up. I already knew that. That's why I was up, too. I knew he had seen someone in his room.

My son again told me he had heard breathing and opened his eyes. That’s when he saw someone moving around his room. Then my son gave me a bit more information. The person stumbled over something before leaving the room and heading upstairs.

Stumbling over something was a key piece of evidence— That is not something you randomly make up.

Though I knew he had actually seen someone in his room, I did not feel alarm. Still, I wanted to be sure my family and home were completely secure, so my son and I checked the rest of the house together. As we quietly searched the house I told him I didn’t think it was a prowler because it was 5:30 in the morning and that was an usual time for a prowler. Besides, our dog was up and needing to go outside and if there was a stranger in the house, he would have reacted to it.

Comforted by my help, our concluded search and (I hope) my words, my son went back downstairs to bed. I decided to stay up and study my Sunday School lesson.

About 8:30 in the morning our youngest son woke up. He came out and sat at the kitchen table to visit. As he chattered away he asked if I wondered why he was sleeping in his own bed last night.

"No," I answered. (I honestly had not wondered why he slept in his own bed.) "That’s where you always sleep.

My youngest son shook his head and told me his older brother had invited him to sleep downstairs with him last night after he got home.

“So I laid in my bed and tried to stay awake until he got home but I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again it was five in the morning."

The timing caught my interest. Maybe he had seen or heard someone, too.

My youngest chattered on. "I guess I didn’t hear him come home so I went downstairs to his room.

Hmmmm...

He continued. "I lay there for a while but I didn’t bring a blanket so I got cold. That’s when I decided to just come back up stairs to my own bed but I tripped over his shoes when I was leaving."

Ah-ha!

My youngest looked at me, concerned. "He really needs to pick up his shoes because I tripped on them when I went downstairs, too. Anyway, that’s why I was sleeping in my bed this morning.”

Story finished. Mystery solved.

The intruder was my youngest son, eager and anxious to have a “slumber party” with his very cool, older brother. So anxious and exited to be invited and considered one of the “big boys” that--even at five in the morning--it was still important enough to him that he went downstairs to spend time with his brother. Even though the night was almost gone and his brother was asleep, my youngest still wanted to be with with his beloved, older brother.

I was touched by all the love that simple little gesture showed.

I was also touched by the love of my older son who, when thinking the house was in peril by the intrusion of a stranger, got up and checked on his brothers and sisters first, before doing anything else. Then he, on his own, spent time checking the entire home to make sure no threat to his family remained.

All in all, I thought it was a perfect way to wake up early on a Saturday morning.

Cleaning house: should we be perfect or faithful?

We were talking in church today about preparing ourselves to be worthy to stand before the Lord either at His coming or when we leave this life. One woman made an interesting observation.

“It’s like when friends show up at your house unannounced and the house is a mess. If I’ve been watching a movie, I feel guilty and embarrassed but, if I have been running around working to take care of other needs for my family or my friends then, if the house is a mess, I will have an entirely different feeling. I may not like the messy house. I may feel embarrassed about them seeing the mess. I may wish things were different but I won’t feel guilty. I won’t feel like I am a failure because I will know I was busy working hard at other things that needed my attention.”

She likened that to meeting the Savior. She said when we face Him in the next life, if our spiritual house is messy because we’ve been lounging around watching movies, so to speak, and spending our time in leisure, worldly pursuits, we will feel guilty.

But, if we’ve been running around serving others, fulfill our callings, and trying to do good things to the best of our ability then when those messes are seen by Him we may feel embarrassed. We may wish things were different but we won’t feel guilty. We will know we were working hard throughout our day.

I liked that analogy. We don’t have the time or ability to solve every problem in this life and clean up every messy spot in our personal world. We will all die imperfect in some areas but those who have dedicated their lives to working as hard as they can at the things the Lord has asked them to do will know their time of labor was well spent.

In the parable of the Kingdom of Heaven, Christ never claimed the Lord said, well done thou good and perfect servant.

Instead, “His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou has been faithful over a few things. I will make thee ruler over many things; enter thou into the joy of thy lord.” (Matt. 25:21)

He is not asking us to be perfect servants. He just wants us to be faithful ones, to do our best, and not waste our time--so we won't feel guilty when we face Him. Best of all, if we try our best to be faithful, I know the Lord is the kind of friend who will say, ‘you’ve been so busy doing other things, let me help you with the rest.’

That is the kind of Savior I know and love.

The Christmas Elephant

An elephant showed up, unexpectedly, at our house for Christmas 2004. I wasn’t planning on having an elephant join us then—or at any time—but once he arrived he quickly became a cherished part of Christmas.

He was living his life quite contentedly on the bottom display shelf at White Drug. I had taken my two girls there so they could purchase, ironically, small ‘White Elephant’ gifts for their class gift exchanges.

As usual with six children, money was tight. Even though we had been careful in our purchases, I only had twenty dollars left. That was it. There wasn’t a penny more and it was still over a week until Christmas.

At the store I needed to purchase the gifts for my girls as well as a few other last minute items requested by their teachers or needed for the holidays at home. If I was careful, I hoped to be able to purchase everything for fifteen dollars and still have five dollars left to buy gas for the van. Hopefully it would be enough fuel that I could continue to deliver papers each morning without using tithing money that had been set aside.

The girls didn’t know the financial situation. They were excited to go shopping. After looking at some plastic trinket, my four-year-old daughter—who was close to the same height as the bottom display shelf—turned around. The open, white winter coat she was wearing knocked the elephant over and he tumbled off the shelf and to the ground.

The sound of breakage caused me to turn and look. I saw the elephant lying in one place while his ear and tusk now rested in their own separate locations.

Inside I felt a sinking feeling. Through fourteen years and six kids I had never had to pay for something broken by my children in a store. They had been so careful, so responsible. Why now, when money was so tight?

Yet, at the same time I felt a quiet calm…as if the Lord was telling me the elephant was no ‘big’ deal.

I looked at my daughter and asked if she had been holding the elephant..

“No. I didn’t even touch it,” she responded and I could hear the truth in her voice and see the candid shock on her face. She was as surprised by the event as I was. Then I noticed she still had her tiny hands in her coat pockets. She hadn’t even had time yet to remove them.

While I picked up the three pieces, my daughter told me she had just turned around and the corner of her coat knocked it off the shelf.

I looked at the price tag. It would take thirteen of my twenty dollars. Inside I felt my heart sink. There was no way I was going to be able get what we needed.

I explained to the girls we would have to pay for the elephant but that meant we couldn’t buy the gifts right now. Not wanting them to feel bad, I told them things would be fine. We would just have to put everything back until I could get some more money. Silently I hoped it would come, though I didn’t know how.

The girls were very understanding as we went through the store returning each item. Then I took the elephant to the counter along with one item requested by a teacher. We paid for the purchases and the twenty dollars was gone.

As we drove home the girls asked what we were going to do with the broken elephant. I didn’t know. I knew it didn’t match the décor of our house and, because it was broken, it wouldn’t work as a Christmas present. But, with a cheerful voice I told the girls that we would fix it anyway then decide what to do with it.

Once at home we looked at the elephant. Inside I felt a peaceful assurance that, although this surprise trial had taken our remaining money, there were some things ‘bigger’ and more powerful than elephants. With gratitude I reflected on the events and was glad I had not been upset about it or let it ruin my daughters' night. I was also grateful that I had believed my four-year-old and not blamed her for the situation. Quietly, too, I was immensely grateful that the girls had been so understanding and even happy about putting their purchases back.

As I quietly reflected on these ‘bigger’ blessings, I also realized that, despite the setback, we had also been blessed financially that year just as we had every year. As tight as it was, our Christmas was better and ‘bigger’ than other years and I felt immense gratitude for what we had.

It was then I noticed the color of the elephant’s trappings. They were deep Christmas burgundy and gold. Suddenly I knew what we could do. We could repair the elephant, we would record his story, and then we would keep the elephant as a permanent reminder that some things are more important than money and presents at Christmas time: things like the feelings of others and gratitude for the gifts of the Lord.

With a genuine smile, I told the girls my idea and they grew excited, too.

So the elephant was repaired and left to await the recording of his story.

Early the next morning, with no money for gas, I left to deliver papers on a ten-mile route. Five houses into the route I found a card taped to the front door with my name on it. Inside was a twenty dollar bill—a tip for delivering the paper each morning.

Later in the route someone left me a box of cherry chocolates as their tip. It had been one of the requested last-minute Christmas items I had returned to the shelf just the night before.

Suddenly I was further ahead than I had been before the elephant blessed our lives. With tremendous gratitude in my heart I drove home knowing that some things, indeed, are bigger than elephants…like the Lord and those people on earth who listen to, then follow, His promptings to serve others.

I will always be grateful the day we brought an elephant home for Christmas.

Horses and the Savior

One of the elders, who is finishing his mission in two weeks, gave a great analogy about Christ and missionaries but I think it relates well to the members of the church. The elder was raised around horses so he loved this analogy when their mission president (who also raises horses) shared it with them. As a horse lover and owner myself, I absolutely understood.

He said there are four types of missionaries and they are like horses. The first type are the green missionaries. Like a green-broke horse they have to be constantly trained and retrained, reminded and corrected to do what the Master needs them to do.

Then they progress and become like the second type. They are like a well-broke horse. They only need occasional cues to perform their tasks—a slight heel to the girth or a tap on the reins. You can trust them to go out and do what they are being asked.

Most horses, missionaries and members remain in this well-broke category for the rest of their lives. They never progress beyond this stage but they are dependable and they do the work when asked. They may need a bit of prodding every now and then, but they are trustworthy and know the routine.

Then there is a third level, where the horses are responsive enough they become like cutting horses. The Master rides the horse into the herd, cuts out an individual cow, and can then drop the reins. He knows the horse will do the rest.

The horse knows he is not supposed to let that cow get back to the herd and he watches that cow on his own and thinks and moves and keeps that cow separated until it can be doctored and cared for. He will stay at that difficult task until the Master reclaims the reins and asks him to stop.

However, a fourth level exists--in horses and missionaries. These are those who have spent so much time with the Master they no longer need even a saddle or bridle. They know the Master. They know what the Master needs and they work in unison with Him to achieve something magical. He then compared that level of closeness, understanding, freedom and choice to the horses owned by Staci Westfall. Of course, I’ve known about Staci for a long time so I absolutely knew what he was talking about.

He said he wanted to work with the Master at that fourth level for the rest of his life.

He had a new missionary ask him, “How do you know if you’ve been a success as a missionary?” and he answered it wasn’t about how many doors you knocked or the number of baptisms you had. “Missionaries are a success when they have grown on their missions and go home with a changed attitude.” (I thought that was pretty cool, too.)

Anyway, here is a great Staci Westfall link to watch. She was competing in the National Horse Congress in the freestyle reining competition where competitors are allowed to create their own reining pattern and then the crowd and judges vote. After all the competitors came out with saddles and bridles on their horses, Staci came out and gave this performance…

While you watch, think about that performance in terms of your efforts for the Savior.

Staci Westfall's Championship Ride-One With The Master

Well everyone, the sequel to my first book, Tombs of Terror, is now available. The second book is called The Lost Curse and it includes the characters from the first novel only, this time, they are in the United States. There is adventure and danger, history and culture. For those of you who may not know, a Hollywood movie producer read my first book, Tombs of Terror and called to option the movie rights. He has since met with a major Hollywood studio about turning my first book into a movie and said the meeting went very well. He is excited about the book and the timing for turning it into a major motion picture. Now the sequel is out and those who have read both say The Lost Curse is even better than the first. If you want some good, page-turning summer reading and the hint of a movie isn't incentive enough, here is the first review of my new book, The Lost Curse. Review of The Lost Curse Enjoy! And happy summer reading! .

Eyebrows up!

Tonight, after Family Home Evening, we were sitting in the living room visiting. Family Home Evening is a night each week that we set aside to spend time with our family. It’s sad that you have to schedule family nights but, in today’s society, it is necessary. During the evening we talk about family needs and plan schedules but we also discuss values and gospel principles. We teach our children standards and how to stay moral and focused when social pressure weighs on them. Hopefully they listen, learn, understand and apply the moral standards we try to teach.

But my words aren’t about Family Home Evening. They are about what happened after Family Home Evening. We were all sitting around visiting and joking, not ready to separate and go back to our different lives.

Two of my sons, including my oldest—who just returned from serving a mission for our church—started singing some funny song together. Then, the younger singing son said the song reminded him of Megan. We all started laughing.

Now, there are a lot of Megans in this world so, I guess, we all thought of a different Megan. A few moments later, when my son said something that better identified the exact Megan, I looked at him, startled, and said, “You mean Megan A.?”

As he prepared to answer, my returned missionary son said, “Don’t answer that. Her eyebrows are raised. When she raises her eyebrows you are supposed to give her the answer she wants to hear.”

Now, for all of you, I know I don't have to say anymore. You know that is funny because it is SO true. But then my returned missinary son continued; mimicking questions they’ve all heard from me. “You did what?” (He raised his eyebrows to punctuate the question.) “You want to go where?” (Another raise of his eyebrows.) “You were with who?” (He raised his eyebrows again.)

By this time I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t breathe.

“Mom,” he said. “I can see right through you…at least when your eyebrows are raised.”

Note to Self: Practice asking questions without raising your eyebrows!

The Fall and the Enmity

I love teaching about the Fall. I love watching students’ eyes brighten with those “Aha!” moments as they understand the subtilties of the events.

Usually I have them explain the Fall to me, in their words, with their understanding. Without exception, everyone says something derogatory about Eve. “It was her fault,” “She was stupid,” and the list goes.

So I generally start by pointing out that Eve stood along side her husband, Adam, in greatness both on earth and in the pre-existence. God didn’t yoke a nag to a Thoroughbred to start mankind. He brought out the best He had and placed them on earth, together.

“Without question she was like unto her mighty husband, Adam, in intelligence and in devotion to righteousness, during both her first and second estates of existence.” (Bruce R. McConkie)

So, what happened?

The serpent appeared and ‘beguiled’ her. That means he used ‘artful deception’ to trick her. The term, artful deception is just perfect for what he did.

The scriptures tell us the serpent was more “subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.” Today we look at subtle as being sly or crafty. However, the word comes from the Hebrew word ‘arum’ which also means prudent or wise. In other terms, the serpent was wise, smarter than all the other animals. And with intelligence comes respect. He was also highly respected.

Did we forget that the serpent has long been a symbol of healing and divine power? For that reason a serpent is found on our medical logo. The ancient Americans carved serpents into their temples to represent their God; and, in similitude of Christ, Moses lifted up a brass serpent to heal the children of Israel. So, it was not a mistake that Satan chose to involve the serpent in his plan.

When this wise, respected animal who symbolized healing and divine power, approached Eve, of course she paid attention. It wasn’t just that he was talking to her. It was everything about him and what he represented. He commanded respect and attention so, when he told Eve she wouldn’t die but “shall be as gods,” it made sense to her. Gods don’t die. If she became like the Gods how could she possibility die?

Thus, with artful deceit, Satan was able to beguile Eve and she eventually partook of the fruit. (The Book of Moses said the tree 'became' pleasant to the eye. That which we look at or dwell on eventually becomes enticing to us.)

Then, as the reality of her choice became evident to her, as she saw what would happen to her and her marriage because of her choice, Eve went to Adam.

The first and greater commandment given to Adam and Eve was to multiply and replenish the earth (Gen 1:28) “Adam had not yet fallen to the state of mortality, but Eve already had; and in such dissimilar conditions the two could not remain together…Adam deliberately and wisely decided to stand by the first and greater commandment.”

Marriage and family are worth every sacrifice! Eve knew that and went to Adam with her problem. Adam knew that and volunteered to endure the pain of the world beside her. They chose to stay together. For me, that is one of the most most powerful decisions made in the Garden of Eden.

Yet, after their epic decision to remain together, something changed inside of them. We know they didn't become mortal right away because the Lord chose not to allow them to die "as to the temporal death, until I, the Lord God, should send forth angels to declare unto them repentance and redemption through faith on the name of mine Only Begotten Son." (D&C 29:42)

The change, then, was something else.

They started worrying about other lesser things…like clothing.

Nowhere in the scriptures did the Lord tell them they would get in trouble for being naked or wearing leaves, but they got so caught up in these lesser worldly concerns that they hid from God when He came calling.

Worldly choices do that to us. We can get so involved in them we hide from Him, we don’t accept His calls, and we don’t show up at church.

But God found them anyway. (You can’t hide from God.) And He asked them to explain their situation. Then He listened.

Of course, Adam spoke first and said, “The woman thou gavest me, and commandest that she should remain with me, she gave me of the fruit of the tree and I did eat.” (Moses 4:18)

Is he blaming her or merely stating fact? He’s stating fact. I know, because he also clearly states 'and I did eat.’. He is forthright in what he did.

Eve is then questioned and she answers the same way--with honest fact. “The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.” (Moses 4:19)

So God follows up by calling forward the serpent. Scriptures don’t record what the serpent said but they do tell us that God punished the original instigator first. (Parents would do well to follow this pattern when dealing with their children.)

From being the wisest and most respected of all creatures, the serpent was the first to fall…and he fell hard—to his belly, to live in and eat the dust “all the days of thy life,” cursed and hated above all other animals.

Then, God said something very interesting to the serpent. “I will put enmity between thee and the woman, between thy seed and her seed; and he shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.”

God promised to protect Eve and her children because she was worth protecting!

Today, we think of enmity has hatred and hostility. It comes from the Hebrew word 'eyah' which also means an active defense, especially in reference to times of war. An apt description.

In order to protect Eve from further attacks by Satan, God vowed to put a defense between Satan and the woman, between the followers of Satan and the children of man. In that verse He promised all of us protection from Satan. This protective defense would have power to bruise the head of the serpent--Satan, himself.

Scholars all say this enmity, this powerful defense that would protect Eve and her children, was Christ—and they are right. Christ held this pre-eminent position of Protector and Savior by virtue of the power he received from his Father. The Priesthood power.

The priesthood is that enmity, that wall of defense that God promised to erect between Satan and the children of men.

And this is what I love to point out...that 'Aha' moment....

Every man who holds the priesthood is part of this line of defense that was promised to the world in the Garden of Eden. And I firmly believe those men who hold the priesthood stepped forward in the Pre-existence and, in a small way similar to the Savior, said “here I am, send me. I will be part of that defense. Put me on the very front lines. I will stand between my wife and children, between all the children of men and the buffetings of Satan. I will hold that line strong.”
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No Respecter of Persons.

Did anyone notice the quiet theme of the lesson “God Is No Respecter of Persons”? Maybe it was just me.

That Sunday morning I woke with music and lyrics rolling through my brain of a song my mind created. It was about speaking edifying words so, when studying the lesson later that morning (yes, I always read the Sunday School lesson every Sunday morning), the scripture that jumped out at me was Acts 10:28. That’s where Peter says, “God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.” (I also saw similar admonitions in Acts 10:15 and Acts 11:9.)

But the thought that kept rolling around in my mind was this…we should not call anyone common or unclean (a sinner). That is not for us to judge. We should not speak poorly of our spouses, our children, neighbors or strangers. We should not think they are just ‘average’ or common creatures but the best jewel the Lord could offer us.

“Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matt. 7:9-11)

So God didn’t send us serpents for children, or stones (or even couch potatoes) for spouses. He sent us jewels! The best He had. We just have to believe that and not refer to those around us as average, below average or, worse, sinners and unclean. We have to see the good in them. God does.

But how far does this admonition go to not call any man common or unclean?

Check out Jude 1:9. It’s one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible and very few people even know it’s there. “Yet Michael the archangel when contending with the devil…durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.”

Wow! Here is Michael going the rounds with the devil but he so completely understood the importance of speaking edifying, kind words that he refused to bring a “railing accusation” against the devil. Rather, he left that judgment up to the Lord.

Now, that doesn’t mean we should hold hands with the devil. We do need to make personal judgments to avoid evil in our lives and to keep the commandments. We also need to teach, and reteach, correct principles to those in our charge; but we are not to do so with railing, negative words or pronouncements.

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment we judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (Matt. 7:2)

If you want kindness in the Day of Judgement, give it now...including to yourself! Don't bring railing, negative accusations against yourself for unclean things you have done. Don't think yourself common.

In that Sunday School lesson, the Gentiles received the gospel blessings when Peter was shown that powerful vision by the Lord. In that same lesson we learn the Jews lost blessings because they were too quick to judge themselves.

“Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you; but seeing ye put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles.” (Acts 13:46)

Edifying words and judgements bring blessings. Harsh words and judgements--even to ourselves--can cause us to lose blessings.

Do you remember what the Lord told the children of Israel after their acts of wickedness and rejection of the Lord caused them to be carried away into Babylonian captivity? “I will visit you, and perform my good word toward you, in causing you to return to this place. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jer. 29:11)

To the Lord, we are not common. We are His children, sons and daughters of God. He is no respeter of persons; He is a respecter of potential. It doesn’t get any better than that.

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Missionaries and Moms

Yesterday was Mother's Day and, on that day, my son made his final call home from the mission field. He will be home in two months. I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

During our conversation I asked my son if he had any dinner appointments for Mother's Day. He said no.

He was transferred into this area only recently and he said they have a large ward and an empty dinner calendar all the time. No one feeds the missionaries in the ward. In his last area, the missionaries were often double-booked for dinners. Here they will go all week without a single invite from the members for anything...dinners, appointments. This ward just does not have a connection with their missionaries.

Well, I reacted as any mother would. I asked for the Relief Society President's name and number and said I would call and get things taken care of!! We laughed together and then he said no dinner appointment just meant he could visit with me longer.

Despite his laughter, my son is struggling to adjust to his last area. He loved the area he had been serving in and the work there kept four missionaries busy all the time. Now he is trying to stay focused on finishing strong in a ward where missionary work is being neglected by the members. Sadly, there are many wards like that across the church. Is your ward one of them?

Whenever missionaries have been in our area, I have regularly invited them for dinner...not because we could afford it easily but because I am a mother. I feel it is my duty to take care of these young missionaries in the same way I would want my sons cared for on their missions. Apparently other mothers do not feel the same way.

As a result of yesterday's phone call, here is part of an e-mail I sent to my son this morning:

As you mentioned your area, I had a couple of impressions come to me and maybe you've already had them. When you are younger in life, it is easy to think that decisions are made to "punish" you. I remember elders thinking they were being sent to certain areas or certain zones or linked up with certain companions because they were being punished by the mission president and that the mission president didn't like them. At times it was easy to think maybe the elders were right.

However, as I've gotten older I realize that adults do not make decisions based on what would be worst for someone. It is just the opposite. Adults look at a situation and they think...what would be the BEST decision here. I am sure the mission president looked at the area and he, too, thought, what would be the BEST decision here. Who would be the best missionary to send there? What does that area need to help the members start to click with the missionaries and get the work started? He sent you there because you were the BEST choice.

As for the empty dinner calendars...there is only one reason ward members do not invite missionaries to dinner...the missionaries. If your ward has not been inviting previous missionaries to dinner you will need to continue to work on earning their trust and friendship. It can take several months for a ward to change their attitude toward the missionaries if they've had some bad experiences in the past.

Most of the priesthood (those who have served missions at least) understand that all missionaries are imperfect. They tend to accept new missionaries faster than the women, so work with the brethren. Get involved in Young Men's and with the elders, etc.

Unfortunately, most women in the church have NOT served missions and they tend to expect the missionaries to walk on water all the time. When they notice a missionary is really just a young man who still gets mud on his shoes and splashes water on occasion, they can get very upset and turn away from the missionaries...kind of like what happened with your companion and the blessing situation before you arrived; or even with you and the mission leader's wife earlier in your mission.

Yes, as Paul advised young Timothy...who was suffering similar problems..."Let no man despise thy youth but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity...Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by the laying on of the hands...Meditate upon these things and give thyself wholly to them." (1 Tim 4:12-14)

"Them" could mean your talents and the Lord, but it could also mean the people in your area. Give yourself wholly to them for these last two months. Use your gifts and special talents to bless them and the work. The mission president did not send you there to punish you or forget about you for the last two months of your mission. He sent you there to change hearts and attitudes toward the missionary work, starting first with the members of that ward. He sent you there because he looked over his mission and knew that this decision was BEST. They need YOU whether they recognize that or not.

So, MEMBERS--I'm talking to you now--as you work with missionaries in your area remember they were sent to your area because they were the BEST for you. Remember, too, most of those missionaries are still in their teens. All have sacrificed tremendously to be in your area. They are supposed to learn and grow and be guided and helped by members on their missions. They aren't supposed to be perfect anymore than you are.

Still don't think the missionaries are 'worth' your effort? Notice the other teenagers around you and what they are doing right out of high school. Now look at those missionaries serving in your area. They don't even compare.

So, even if an elder shows up a bit muddy, a bit wet, or even very green...

...if you don't like his hairstyle, his tie, his gospel knowledge, or his personality...

...always remember he has made a choice and a sacrifice to serve God. He gave up something to be there. You can give up something to help him.

Remember, also, that God's ordained leaders--from apostles to mission presidents--have been guided by the Lord to send him to your area, your ward, your doorstep. Do not close the door on him. Do not reject the Lord in that way.

And always treat him as you would want some other mother treating your missionary son.

Just who is who in Esther's times?

Were you as lost in history as I was during the lesson on the rebuilding of the temple? I had all sorts of notes in my scriptures placed there over the years and I still couldn’t unravel the chronology.

I let it nag at me for a few days then I headed to the internet and began to hit my favorite, reputable sites to find out just where all those puzzle pieces fit.

Now, what I found out is that, at times, no one really knows for sure who’s who. There are almost as many ‘ideas’ of who’s who as there are scholars. I’m glad the confusion is not just mine!!

I also found it interesting that in this very lesson, the people who could not prove who they were, were excluded from helping rebuild the temple. Accurate records, especially in genealogy, are so important!

Out of all the research I did, this information showed up the most so, here it is.

Cyrus came to power. It was his policy to free the slaves in the land he conquered and so he released the Jews and allowed them to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple. Of course, many didn’t want to go by then and stayed behind. That’s pretty straight forward and easy to follow but now it gets a bit convoluted.

Some scholars believe that Cyrus was also known as Darius the Mede (I'll call him Darius the Mede/Darius I). Other scholars believe the Darius the Mede and Cyrus were two different people. Whoever they were, at some point Darius the Mede/Darius I co-ruled Persia with the help of Xerxes. (I’ll call him Xerxes I.)

When Darius the Mede/Darius I died, Xerxes I ruled alone until his ‘death’. Some scholars believe that, in order to keep the throne with Darius dead and his own reputation slipping Xerxes I faked his own death.

Word of the 'death' of Xerxes I reached his son, Ahasuerus I, who was leading the army in Egypt. As heir to the throne and now unofficial king, Ahasuerus I headed back for Persia to be officially crowned yet, before he arrived, two things happened: someone showed up claiming to be the king's son and took the throne; and Ahasuerus I died before he made it back to Persia and could get rid of the imposter.

The imposter called himself Artaxerxes I. Some scholars believe it was really Xerxes I showing up pretending to be his own son. To gain the favor of the citizens, this questionable king repealed all taxes for three years (that always gets lots of support from short-sighted citizens). He also halted the building of the temple when he got the letter mentioned in Ezra 4.

With the king's real son dead, Darius II led much of the army and knew Artaxerxes I was not who he said he was. With the support of the armies, Darius II captured Artaxerxes I and killed him, thus claiming the throne for himself.

During the next two years, Darius II repelled the attacks of nine kings and established peace in the kingdom. He also learned of the decree of Cyrus to let the Jews rebuild the temple (Ezra 5). Darius II renewed that decree (Ezra 6).

When Darius II died, Xerxes II took the throne. He is better known as Ahasuerus I. This is the same Ahasuerus I who married Esther. Of course, his antics are well known. During his time on the throne, he halted the building of the temple and harassed the Jews. The role his wife, Esther, played in halting Haman’s plans to destroy the Jews saved the life of a Jew named Nehemiah. Just a few short years later, Nehemiah would become pivotal in rebuilding the temple.

Upon the death of Esther’s husband his son, Artaxerxes II, took the throne. Artaxerxes II had a cupbearer named Nehemiah served. When Nehemiah asked to go help with the rebuilding, Artaxerxes II allowed him to go and sent him the aid he needed. Nehemiah was able to accomplish in 52 days what had been unfinished for years.

As I mentioned, there are scholarly conflicts over who’s who during this time; but this information seemed to be the most common. The lesson here isn’t who’s who; but what can happen (as the lesson pointed out) when accurate records are not kept and preserved.

Going to Church on Sunday

Last week a young mother, who is trying to return to Church activity, left church early because she worried her young children were being too disruptive. It caused me, and all the mothers at church, to remember our same struggles with young children. We all know her feelings. It also caused me to remember a very specific event that took place several years.

When my husband was called into the bishopric I found myself sitting on the bench alone, wrestling--sometimes literally--with three young toddlers and newborn. I remember at times having to take out the newborn and praying that my three children would sit quietly until I got back and not destroy the chapel or the Sacrament meeting.

I also remember sharing some of those foyer moments with another young mother of four who also found herself alone at church when work took her husband out of town ever other weekend. One Sunday she came out of the meeting, with two of her children in tow, exasperation written on every feature of her face. The other two children had been left behind on the bench.

“I don’t know why I even bother to come," she growled to me. "I never hear a word from the meeting!”

Having growled those exact words to my husband, I absolutely understood her frustration. It was then the Lord guided my response…a thought I had never had until I spoke to her.

“Even when you don’t feel like you are getting anything out of the meeting," I said, "you’re still doing the right thing by coming each Sunday because it is teaching your children the habit of attending. It is showing them it is important to be here every Sunday, week after week.”

My words gave me much needed strength and understanding and I realized one of my jobs, besides testifying of the gospel, is to also teach my children the habit of correct principles, including Sunday attendance. That knowledge helped me on those Sundays when the Spirit seemed very far from our chaotic pew.

Over the months, though, my friend didn't find the strength and understanding she needed and she slowly quit attending regularly, coming only on the Sunday's her husband could attend. Then, when a move took her family to another part of the state she quit going to Church altogether. It was too difficult with little children.

Since that time my friend and her husband have gone completely inactive. Over time they started to break the commandments—drinking, then smoking. Eventually infidelity on both their parts led to the dissolution of their temple marriage and then divorce. My friend is now waiting tables in a bar at night, raising the children alone. Only the oldest two had been baptized but are inactive, The younger two have never been baptized and don’t know anything about the Savior or His gospel. There are financial problems, of course; as well as problems at school and with the law—some minor, some major including drug addiction and drug dealing--some by my friend, herself.

Her situation has made me grateful for my own. Though my children are not perfect and one of my teenagers is deeply struggling with his testimony right now, we do have one son on a mission, all my children go to church each Sunday, and my teenagers attend seminary every morning—even the one who is struggling. So far none of my children have gotten in trouble at school or with the law. They truly are good people who still find comfort in the habits they formed early in life.

We cannot underestimate the importance of being there every week, even when it is hard or frustrating. How I wish my friend had kept going to church. It seems to me that the two very different paths our lives took made its first turn when my friend decided it was easier to stay home rather than wrestle her children at church. Unfortunately, that decision made years ago has made her life more difficult, not easier.

During this past week the sisters in our branch have contacted this young mother and told her repeatedly how much we love having her and her children there. How grateful I was to see her return to Church this Sunday with her children. I know she is making the right choice.

Football miracle

This is a difficult blog to write. You may remember me blogging about football and the passion my son has for the sport. I have also written about those frightening hits in football that everyone hears.

My son was involved in one of those frightening hits during football camp. It was the kind of hit that causes the coaches on both sides of the line to feel their stomachs lurch and send them all running onto the field even before the players have climbed back to their feet.

But my son didn’t get back on his feet.

He lay on the field, his limbs convulsing spontaneously—the sign of severe spinal trauma. Though he remained conscious, he was unable to feel anything below his neck. He later told me it was the most frightening two or three minutes he has ever experienced.

When feeling did return to his limbs he knew one of his coaches was kneeling beside him, tightly holding his hand. “Mom, Coach Bryan never let go of my hand the rest of the time,” he said. "He stayed right there with me the whole time."

And they took time with him.

Finally, after taking all the precautions--including immobilizing his neck--the trainers and emergency staff decided he had experienced a severe back spasm. It was a hot day and my son has had leg cramps before. They iced his back and my son asked to go back into the game. He pestered. He said he was fine, just a bit sore. Reluctant, the coaches finally agreed.

My son finished that game as their running back and defensive end. An hour later he played, both ways, for a second full game.

In his positions he was a constant target. Each tackle, he told me, brought him excruciating pain. Even his head hurt with every step.

In one touchdown run, pain kept him from diving over the goal line and he was brought down one yard short. At any other time he would have made those final three feet but he told me later “it hurt too much Mom. I couldn’t do it.” He felt bad, genuinely hurt, that he'd let his teammates down.

No one knew he was playing with his back broken in two places.

When I picked up my son after the camp I knew instantly something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes. They were a different color.

We took him into the doctor and discovered the broken vertebrae and the dislocated neck.

The doctor told him he was lucky. He could have been paralyzed at any time. He was amazed my son had kept playing--even more amazed he had gotten up and walked away from each subsequent tackle.

Later, a back specialist confirmed what the first doctor told us. Then he said, “you need to realize how serious this injury is. If anything had been even a fraction of an inch different, you’d be in a wheelchair right now and you’d be there for the rest of your life.”

My son--who is so passionate about the game that he played football for two hours with a broken back--wept uncontrollably...not because of the possibilities but because of the reality. His football career was over. And I wept right along with him. There is deep, deep pain in seeing something taken from your child that means so much to him!

At some point, when the doctors left us alone, I told him, "Even though you don't feel like this is a blessing right now, you need to realize that the Lord truly protected you during that accident and has blessed you in every single step you've taken since."

Then I made a call to my husband who was out of town. He, too, was devasated--made worse by the distance and his inability to get back to us.

Though he couldn’t be there that night, he fulfilled his role as husband and father perfectly. He called a close friend and asked him to give our son a priesthood blessing that night.

The friend did--changing his schedule to help us through our crisis.

The blessing was the most amazing experience I and my son have ever had. Promises were made that astounded all of us, even our friend. The Spirit was tremendously strong...and with it came understanding and courage to move forward. And hope for my son's future.

Tonight my son is going to his team’s preseason scrimmage game. He will be on the sidelines, encouraging his teammates while wearing a back brace. But he will be standing and walking that sideline, something the doctors say is a miracle.

Because of the gift of the priesthood, we know that many more miracles are still ahead of him. I am anxious to see the 'other' miracles my son will experience in his life.



<--My son breaking tackles and heading for the goal line. His determination on the field follows him off the field, too.


Watching from the sidelines. He was never content to sit there long and, even with a broken back, he still isn't content to sit there. He now goes to every practice and helps with the coaching. His teammates have commented how much they appreciate having him there with them. -->



<-- Ready to face whatever is coming. Though his senior year dreams have suddenly changed, he's still ready to face whatever is coming.

A lesson from the earth.

Lately I’ve been enjoying some conversations about science and religion with Church members who are involved in various scientific fields and endeavors. Like them, I believe religion and science are more closely connected than we now know; and I disagree with scientists who say you can’t believe in God if you want to accept science. Phooey. (Those who claim that are probably too closed minded to even be in the scientific field. We all know any scientist worth his salt would never throw out any possibility.)

The other day, as I was doing some scientific and doctrinal research into the history of the world and its future, I made a startling, yet comforting realization.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints know that when God created the earth it was in a paradisiacal or terrestial state. Not fully glorified, but pretty close. Then Adam fell and that affected everything. (We also know that no choice affects you and you alone.) At that time the earth also ‘fell’ and became the telestial world we now know.

So here we all are: telestial bodies living on a telestial world.

Latter-day Saints also understand that when Christ comes again the world will “be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.” (See 10th Article of Faith.) Again, not fully glorified, but pretty close. During that time men on earth, under the direction of the Savior, will work hard to burn the leftovers of war, beat their swords into plows and restore the earth to its Edenic state. It will take time, years, to restore what was lost and fix the damage done.

Then, following this millennium of time, peace and work--and after a final test of conviction to the Lord--the earth will then pass away “and there shall be a new heaven and a new earth.” This ‘new earth’ shall be our earth in its glorified “sanctified, immortal and eternal state.” (See Revelations 4, D&C 29:22-24 and D&C 77.)

Can you see a familiar pattern there? The earth existed in God’s presence--not yet glorified but pretty good. It fell and left His presence, becoming a telestial sphere. Christ will return to the earth to help restore the earth to a higher state—not yet glorified but pretty good. Then, when all things are ready, the earth will finally be glorified.

It has taken, and will continue to take, quite a bit of time to get the earth glorified. In fact, you could say the creation of the earth still is not complete. It’s an ongoing process.

Now, people quibble over the age of the earth depending on whether they view the earth scientifically or Biblically. (And even those who believe in the Bible quarrel about the length of the creative period: was it six literal days or six figurative days?)

But the age of the earth really doesn’t matter. What matters is the lesson we learn from the earth and the hope it can give us. However you look at it, the earth has been in existence for a tad bit longer than my 48 years and it still is not glorified! It is still a work in progress.

Now, if the earth has been given that much time and even promised the personal help of the Savior to get it sanctified and ready to meet God, doesn’t the same truth apply to you and me? The worth of souls in great in the eyes of the Lord. We are His greatest creation! His entire work is directed at helping us become glorified; and He obviously plans for it to take a bit longer than 48 years.

Whew!

We don’t have to be perfect now. Our children and spouses don’t have to be perfect now. Neither do our neighbors. We just need to keep heading in that direction and appreciate the pattern He lovingly and quietly shared with us when He placed us on this wonderful, very long-term, work in progress we call Earth. The Earth is our testimony of hope.
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The problem with answering roughly

A great lesson for anyone in a position of leadership and guidance is found in 1 Kings 12. Rehoboam, son of Solomon, is the new king of Israel. Jeroboam, a leader from the tribe of Ephraim, joined other representatives from the other tribes of Israel and came to the new king, seeking an ease to their burdens. Solomon’s heavy building program and military requirements had taxed the people greatly both in time and monetary possessions.

The king listened to their grievances and told them to come back in three days for an answer.

During that time, “king Rehoboam consulted with the old men, that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people?”

“And they spake unto him, saying, If thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and wilt serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants for ever.”

Such wise words! If you want people to love you and follow you and be loyal to you—serve them, address and answer their needs, encourage and praise them with your words.

But Rehoboam didn’t like the counsel (it took too much effort on his part) so he went to his buddies, “The young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him:

"And he said unto them, What counsel give ye that we may answer this people, who have spoken to me, saying, Make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter?

“And the young men…spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people…My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins.

“And now whereas my father did lade you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke: my father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.”

Now, maybe his buddies justified the response by claiming if you give someone an inch they will take a mile. If you let them change your mind on one issue, they will be clamoring for you to change your mind on every issue. It could have been a classic fear-the-foot-in-the-door warning. They may have even told Rehoboam his kingdom was as stake, that this request meant a rebellion was brewing.

So, the king took their advice and “answered the people roughly.”

Well, he got his rebellion--because he started it. From that point on the family of Israel was divided.

Now let's fast-forward to our time. What do you do when your teenage son comes to you and says he’s tired of mowing the lawn every week; that he always has to do it? Do you sit down with him and say, yes, you have been mowing it every week for several years, what can I do to help make it easier? Or, do you answer him roughly, say it’s his responsibility and if he complains more about it you will make him weed the garden, too?

What about when your daughter comes and says she doesn’t have time to do the dishes tonight because she has to be to volleyball practice. Do you say she should have thought of that sooner and started her dishes earlier? Or, do you say let me go help you and we’ll try to get as much done together before you go?

What about with your spouse? If something they are doing, or not doing, is hurtful or disappointing, do you honestly think speaking roughly to them is the way to win their loyalty, get them to change, and improve your marriage?

Family life is no different now than in Rehoboam's time. While no family is perfect, more families should follow the first advice. We are here to serve one another, address and answer the needs of our children and our partners, to encourage and praise them with our words. Then we will have the love and loyalty in our families that will bind us together forever.

Sadly, however, I feel too many families follow the path of Rehoboam and answer each other roughly.

Remember the Savior’s words: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matt 23:11)

Isaiah spoke Messianically of this service in Isaiah 61:1-3. “The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings…bind up the brokenhearted…proclaim liberty to the captive…(open) the prison to them that are bound…give unto them beauty for ashes…praise for the spirit of heaviness.”

If we are to be like Christ and follow His example then we, too, must do the same. We must preach good tidings, not speak roughly. We must repair broken hearts and, when family members are held captive by the demands of life, we are to help them find more liberty, even go to work and open the prisons doors that stand in their way. We are called give them beauty and hope when their life is full of ashes, and encourage them with honest praise when they are burdened under the spirit of heaviness.

Then we are promised, in Isaiah 61: 4, the waste places will be built up, the former desolations will be repaired.

Our families will be built up and our relationships will be repaired. They will be ours forever...because they will want to be with us.
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Priesthood blessings

My son did something today I didn’t do until I was much older. He asked an older man, who is not a member of our church, if he would like his son, Brian, to receive a priesthood blessing. The man said yes.

We believe that worthy men can be called and ordained to the receive the priesthood. Christ had the priesthood. He was a high priest in the Melchezidek priesthood. (See Hebrews 5.) He gave this authority to his disciples. That priesthood authority is the power of God to officiate in His name and enact the ordinances of salvation. Another function of the priesthood is to give blessings to the sick, downtrodden and seeking.

A year and a half ago, Brian played on the same football team as two of my sons. One son, in particular, formed a close friendship with Brian. Together they worked to improve as football players year-round. They also went snowmobiling in the winter, floated the creek in the summer, and played video games often. Brian spent a lot of time at our house. He was always polite and fun. When I opened the door and saw him standing on our back step I always had to return his smile. He brightened everything with his fun, quiet nature.

After graduation, Brian received a scholarship to play football at college. He came to our house when he could but we didn’t see him as much as before. I missed him. I also worried about him. So did my son.

We knew Brian had begun drinking. He told my son several times he liked hanging out at our house and around his LDS friends because he didn’t feel he needed to drink to have fun. It was a different kind of fun. It was clean fun. He didn’t have to worry about what he did.

We asked Brian if he wanted to learn more about what we believed. He said, ‘definitely’ but we were slow in our follow-through and one lonely night Brian was involved in a drunk-driving accident. The accident left him in a coma for a month and now he is permanently brain-injured.

Recently, while visiting Brian, my son explained priesthood blessings to Brian’s father. He then asked his father if he would like Brian to receive a priesthood blessing. The man said yes. My son called, excited that we could help Brian and his family in a way no doctor or therapist could.

The call touched my heart. It took courage for my son, who is still in high school, to ask an adult such a question and explain priesthood blessings to him. It also took faith. How grateful I am that my son has faith in the power of the priesthood—faith enough to know that it can bless the lives of others--and faith enough in its importance to share that knowledge with a non-member.

I also feel very strongly the blessing won’t just bless Brian. It will bless my son and all those people who deeply love Brian, both on this side of the veil and the other. Furthermore, I strongly feel that there are those on the other side of the veil who have prayed that someone would offer to give their beloved Brian a priesthood blessing.

Priesthood blessings always touch more lives than one. And that is so appropriate, because Brian has also touched many more lives than one.

The clock is ticking.

My neighbor didn’t see me in the gym this morning and, upon arriving home, discovered the reason. I was in the yard, weeding. We laughed when I explained I’d probably be more sore after weeding than after hitting the treadmill.

The truth is, with limited time I had to make a choice.

Our conversation stayed with me as I dug and pulled at more weeds around the yard. I reflected on the choices we have to make every day and the fact that no one has enough time to accomplish everything on their “to do” list.

That means things will be left undone.

No one has enough money to handle every situation that comes their way. That means there will be financial stress.

No one has enough self-esteem that they don’t feel pain. That means there will be hurt and aching hearts.

The test was never meant to be about what we would do with enough. If so, we would all have enough, and to spare.

The test, then, has always been about what we will do when there is not enough! Will we still choose the Lord?

When time is tight, will we still go to church on Sunday or will we choose to work, recreate, or relax? With limited time, will we choose to read the scriptures each day or pray, or will we choose some other worldly thing to fill our day?

When money is tight, will we still choose to share tithes and offerings with the Lord? Will we choose to send our children on missions or go ourselves? Will we serve others with those funds, or will we spend that money on things for us?

When someone offends us, will we choose to do as the Lord has asked and forgive them, or repent and change if they are right? Or will we choose to brood and sulk, blame others, blame the church, or even blame the Lord?

Each choice truly is ours.

Our love for the Lord isn’t found in a singular decision of devotion that will carry us for the rest of our life. It is announced in each of those daily, quiet moments when we realize we don’t have enough. Will we still choose the Lord?

Especially when we lack, I think the best choice is always the Lord.
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The parable and miracle of the goldfish

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Our day started out with a death and a trash can burial. A silver-colored goldfish, named Smokey, jumped out of the aquarium at some point in the night and we found him on the floor this morning—stiff and dry. All traces of water on the hardwood floor from his unexpected arrival in our waterless world had long since dried up. Even the floor directly beneath his body was dry.

Four years ago, we purchased Smokey from a tank of mostly dead and sickly feeder goldfish. He cost us 10 cents. We had saved him, along with several others feeder fish that day. Now our rescue fish was dead, lying on the hardwood floor, dark and stiff.

Feeling sorrow for his lonely death, I picked him up by the hard tail fin, carried him into the kitchen and buried him in the trash can. At the breakfast table, my children saw and they, too, expressed sadness at his demise. After all, Smokey had lived for several years, grown to be the second largest in size, and was the only silver goldfish in the group.

During breakfast my children reminisced about Smokey while I started doing dishes. But I keep hearing the Spirit whisper to me. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die this way. Give him a chance to live.”

You may recall the Spirit's whispering on behalf of the world's grumpiest cockatiel (see my March blog) Yet this fish was dead. This whispering was after the trauma, not before.

Then I recalled a similar fish incident years ago, when my firstborn child was only two. He decided to go ‘fishing’ in our tank and managed to catch one of the fish. When he proudly told my of his feat I looked in the tank and, sure enough, one fish was missing. I went searching for the fish. After an hour and a half I found him. He had flipped up under the couch and was dry and stiff. As I picked up my son’s ‘catch’ to throw it in the trash can I saw its gill move. Quickly I filled a bowl with water and dropped in the fish. He started breathing and went on to live for several more years.

Now, as I did the dishes, the whispering continued. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die like this. Give him a chance to live.”

So, when my children were not looking, I retrieved Smokey from the trash can, filled up a bowl with water from his fish tank and dropped in the fish. By this time he had been in the trash can for 45 minutes and on the floor for much longer (possibly hours) yet, amazingly, he immediately responded and started to breathe.

In the photo below he has been in the bowl for half an hour and is almost completely upright.



I still didn’t tell my children—I didn’t want them to get their hopes up—so I sent them to school and continued to watch Smokey’s recovery. Within an hour he was swimming upright, though rather slowly, and I put him back into the tank.

I then went to the gym to work out. While on the treadmill my heart, and even my prayers, went out to this little fish. I don’t feel guilty praying for animals. I don't feel anyone should. I have come to know in my life that God loves all His creations, even the animals.

As I jogged I realized that Smokey had not jumped out of the tank on purpose. In the guise of ‘having a good time’ Smokey obviously went a bit too far and landed outside the safety of the water. There he found himself alone and needing help. He floundered and fought for life yet could do nothing to save himself until, finally, he succumbed to the consequences of his actions.

And then I thought of those people I know and I saw a gospel parallel. Often, in the guise of ‘having a good time,’ people go a bit too far and land outside the safety of the living water of the gospel. They break the commandments, they don’t feel they need to be in Church, but they are floundering and, soon enough, they will face the full effects of their actions. They can't save themselves. None of us can. That's why we all need Christ yet, if someone isn’t physically there to help those struggling in this life, the consequences can result in spiritual death, the drying up of a testimony and the stiffening of a soul.

We all know and love people like that. Maybe we see them and feel they are, somehow, too far gone to help. We may have even mentally placed them in the trash can of life, claiming they are gone for good.

Yet “Don’t give up on him yet” is powerful advice for all of us! The Lord runs on a different timetable. He doesn't care how long we've lain spiritual dead or even been in the trash can of life. He just wants someone to pull out each precious soul and give them a chance to live. There is no one so far gone, or so long gone that the Savior cannot yet reach them. We just have to keep trying. We should never give up on anyone!

And the Spirit also taught me another truth. By not telling my children that I had placed Smokey back into a bowl of water, I thought I was protecting them from disappointment in case he should die later. What the Spirit told me was that I had cut my children and Smokey off from the power of prayer. That was not a door for me to close for anyone or anything.

So, as I ran on the treadmill this morning I prayed for those friends of mine outside of the living water of the Gospel. If the Lord clearly tells me to not give up on a goldfish, I know He does not want me to give up on them!

I also prayed for forgiveness for not allowing my children to tap into the greatest power they possess…the power of prayer. I asked that my lesson to learn be mine alone, without Smokey or my children suffering.

And, so far, the Lord heard those prayers. Smokey is swimming with more strength and his fins are starting to open again. And my children have seen a miracle.

Great miracles and lessons often come in little packages.




Smokey, front and center, back in the tank where he belongs.
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Speaking in church? No problem, most just read.

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I carry in my scriptures a quote from Spencer W. Kimball. It says, “The Savior has told us to feed his sheep. I fear that all too often many of our members come to church, sit through a class or meeting, and they then return home having been largely uniformed. It is especially unfortunate when this happens at a time they may be entering a period of stress, temptation, or crisis. We all need to be touched and nurtured by the Spirit, and effective teaching is one of the most important ways this can happen. We often do vigorous enlistment work to get members to come to church but then do not adequately watch over what they receive when they do come.”

Pres. Kimball spoke this in the October 1980 conference. So important was this statement that he repeated it, verbatim, a second time in the October 1981 conference.

During another discourse, Spencer W. Kimball said that those who passed by the Good Samaritan and did nothing to help will be held partially accountable for the pain and suffering the man endured from the moment they could have helped and did not but, instead, chose to pass by.

Think about that story. Do you realize the Levite and the priest were on the same road as the wounded man? They were within reaching distance yet they chose to focus only on their own concerns and walk on by. Maybe they were nervous. Maybe they were genuinely afraid. Whatever their reason, they did not trust Him to help them help another.

Now apply that to the calling to speak or teach. As speakers and teachers, we are standing on the same road as many members--some who may be spiritually wounded or malnourished. We may console ourselves by saying “I’m not a teacher” or “I’m terrified of speaking in public” but, no matter what our Levitical or priestly rationalization is, it is our duty to feed and care for His sheep! And, like the prophet said, I believe we will be held partially accountable for those members and investigators who go home unnourished if we did not adequately prepare to feed them while they were in our hands at Church.

And that is especially true with those in our classrooms or congregations who have come seeking spiritual uplift and light during a period of stress, temptation or crisis. We may not know who they are but in every class and in every congregation someone is crying out for Spiritual sustenance...sustenance we have been asked to give them that day.

It is our calling to prepare. It is their calling to come. They have done their job. They are there, waiting for us to feed them the message we have been asked to share with them. If there is a failure, it is usually on the part of the speaking or teaching shepherd, not the sheep. We must do better if we are going to change hearts and strengthen souls.

Now, I know not everyone is a public speaker but speaking or teaching in public is improved if we learn and apply this simple truth.

Do not read!

I tell my children they need to know their talks well enough that, if they are sitting on the stand and suddenly can’t find their notes they could still give the talk and do a good job. The same is true with each lesson. Know your material well enough that you could give it without the manual if you had to. That kind of preparation won’t happen by starting on Saturday night. You have to start preparing as soon as you are asked to teach or talk.

Yes, I know some weeks are hectic but, even then, preparation is essential and possible. During one hectic period of his life, my brother worked a job that required he leave the house between 7 and 8 in the morning. Often he did not get home from work until after 10 at night.

During that demanding time he was called to be an early morning seminary teacher. He had every right to turn it down but he did not. He chose to accept the Lord’s call and I learned a great truth because he did what he was asked to do.

The church was 40 minutes from their home. He had to get up at 4 a.m. each morning to be to seminary on time and have a bit of time to prepare. I asked his wife how he managed to find time to study a lesson each day with the demands of work. She said he often told her he was grateful he had spent time preparing his whole life through diligent scripture study and prayer. On days when he just did not have time, the Lord blessed him because he already had prepared…for years. Thankfully, my brother never read the lessons to the students as a cop-out. He taught them, with the Spirit, because he had spent a lifetime preparing.

When a speaker reads their talk, they are relying on the arm of flesh, called pen and paper, rather than on the Spirit to guide their words. True, they may have felt the Spirit guiding them as they wrote those things down but now they need to trust the Spirit, not the paper, to guide them as they share those thoughts and ideas.

More than once in the Book of Mormon the writers comment that the written word lacks the power of the spoken word. That is true in sacrament meeting talks and Sunday School lessons.

“When a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)

When reading must be done, keep the quotes and passages short. If they are long, select only the best or break it up into several short readings. Why? Because reading is what you do to put children to sleep at night! Do you think reading in Church causes a different reaction? No. If you read for longer than about a minute, people are sleeping.

Also, when we read our eyes are pointed downward. We cannot see the faces of those we teach and cannot read if they are being fed. We must see their faces to view their hearts!

Finally, we are not called to read in church, we are called to speak. We are not called to read in class, we are called to teach. There is a mighty difference.

Teachers and speakers will never know the power they can have until they learn to trust that Power and speak and teach, not read, from the heart.
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It happened without me.

For years I have wanted to go to a writer's conference but, alas, timing, distance and money have all conspired to keep me away from those gatherings of verbiage and knowledge. Finally, however, I learned of a writer’s conference that would fit my schedule, my budget, and my travel constraints. So, I sent in my fees almost two months ago, reserved a spot at the conference, marked the date on my calendar, submitted my first chapter for critique, and waited.

This morning I arose bright and early and left the house shortly after 5:30 a.m. to make the three and a half hour drive to the much anticipated conference.

But this time a late spring blizzard was my conspirator and I managed to travel only 80 miles in two and a half hours.

Earlier this week I had a feeling I should not attend the conference. Now, traveling through a steep, unplowed mountain pass those feelings increased until I could not shake the impression that I should turn around. For miles I fought the impression, prayed for guidance and, finally, managed to bring the car to a stop in the deepening snow. But there I hesitated. I wanted to go to the conference!

Yet the impression would not leave and finally, very reluctantly, I followed the prompting and turned around.

Ten miles down the mountain my human side returned. I turned my car around and headed back toward the conference. After all, I really wanted to go. Besides, I’m a Montanan. I’m used to driving in snow storms. It’s what we do.

As I headed toward the conference the impression returned, stronger this time. If you go, it said, the trip will be dangerous for you. You need to be home today.

It took several miles before I listened to the prompting. Feeling sad about not going, I turned the car toward home again, consoling myself that it is never wrong to choose family over other things.

This time, though, I only made it about five miles down the road when I started arguing the prompting and justifying the trip. I’d paid a non-refundable fee. I had wanted to go to a conference for years and this one was close, relatively speaking.

So I stopped justifying and decided I was going to the conference--no arguing about it. I turned around again and headed back toward the conference when a powerful voice said, Terri, do not go. I will not tell you again.

Okay. That caught my attention and this time I turned back toward home, for good.

Yet I cried over the decision. I really, really wanted to go to the conference. Worse, I wasn’t sure the impressions had come from the Lord or my own subconscious. Because of that, I felt added frustration I may have chosen wrong.

Don’t you wish you could see into the future and know for sure if your decision was really the one He wanted you to make?

That is when I felt a whispering in my mind. On those times when we make a decision because we think, hope, we are following the Lord—He is still pleased.

Remember when your young child tried to please you by making breakfast? I bet you smiled warmly and gave that child a big hug even though the eggs were not cooked, the toast was burned, and orange juice had spilled on the counter and floor. Why? Because it was the sincere effort that pleased you, not the outcome.

And I realized this morning the Lord often feels that same way about us.

It's the effort to follow Him, not the outcome, that means so much to Him.

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