Sitting on thrones in thoughtless stupor

I was reading Captain Moroni’s letter to Pahoran this morning in my personal studies and, for the second time in my life, the question he asks Pahoran had a powerful impact.

The first time was shortly after returning from my mission. I was sitting in Sunday School waiting for the Gospel Doctrine teacher to appear. Time passed. No one approached the front of the room to teach the class. No teacher. No substitute. Not even a brave member from class. For twenty minutes the ward members were content to visit quietly with each other.

I felt the Spirit nagging me to get up and start the lesson but I didn’t. After all, I didn't have a manual, wasn't called to teach, was just 21 years old, and had only been home a couple of weeks from my mission. Who wants to hear from a naive, inexperienced teacher barely out of her teenage years?

So I chickened out. I opened my scriptures intent on immersing myself in them and ignoring the situation around me.

They literally fell open to Alma 60:11, which reads. “Behold, could ye suppose that ye could sit upon your thrones, and because of the exceeding goodness of God ye could do nothing and he would deliver you?”

That’s all the further I read. I shut the scriptures, stood up and took over the lesson.

This morning while, once again, reading in Alma 60 I was struck by the irony of verse 7 which says, “Can you think to sit upon your thrones in a state of thoughtless stupor, while your enemies are spreading the work of death around you? Yea, while they are murdering thousands of your brethren—“

You see, as I was reading that verse two members of my family were sitting within my view…in a state of thoughtless stupor on their phones. They were checking their Facebook page, watching videos, snapchatting, and they'd been doing it most of the morning.

You know what I'm talking about. You’ve seen it in your own homes.

Maybe you've even been guilty of it, yourself!

Hours and hours and HOURS wasted on chasing useless facts, entertainment and worldly validation on the internet.

And I was struck how Satan is using the internet to spiritually murder thousands of members of the church while we do nothing to stop it. We are too busy surfing the internet, scrolling through feeds, and liking and approving posts with just a sentence or two, to "be up and doing" real good on the internet.

Moroni had it right when he said, “I fear exceedingly that the judgments of God will come upon this people, because of their exceeding slothfulness” (vs. 14).

This people…the members.

All the while we waste our time on the internet, Satan is making incredible use of his time. He is using the internet to spread the work of destruction against the Church, destroy virtue, throw temptations in front of every user, and numb our souls with a continual onslaught of foul language, innuendos, attacks and rants.

Are you aware that Captain Moroni said, "We could have withstood our enemies...had it not been for the war which broke out among ourselves" (vs. 15-16). On the internet right now there are typed battles going on, hurt being spread, friendships being destroyed--even among the members. Satan's use of the internet actually encourages us to give battle without a face, to post caustic thoughts and then wait for the "Likes" to pour in. No need for self-control when people give a "thumbs up" to our rants.

And that is exactly what Satan wants. The internet is his favorite weapon of attack.

So, our we posting defenses against those attacks?

Are we fortifying ourselves, our families and our homes against those attacks because we are willing to step forward on the internet and go to work? Are we willing to battle Satan on the internet (where the battle is taking place) in preserving our liberty, our lands, our wives and our children, and our rights of worship?

Remember, we don't sit on the internet, alone. Oh, no. We're caught up in it along with thousands and thousands of others--all of whom are subject to the same attacks by Satan, whether they are members or not. Again, Captain Moroni asks Paharon (and all of us), “Will ye sit in idleness while ye are surrounded with thousands of those, yea, and tens of thousands, who do also sit in idleness?”

“Do ye suppose that the Lord will still deliver us, while we sit upon our thrones and do not make use of the means which the Lord has provided for us?”

And the Lord has provided us with the internet!

Yes, the internet is Satan's greatest weapon but remember...it God's greatest tool.

The difference is this: weapons destroy, tools build.

Let us make sure that we are using the internet as a tool for good…that we are building truths and not wasting our time in idleness on it. Rather let us find ways to strengthen and build others, defend good with kindness, and stand for righteousness.

Then let us not stay on the internet longer than necessary. When we have done what the Lord wants us to do--when we have done GOOD, let us turn off the internet and embrace our families and friends in real time, with real face-to-face interactions.

When marriage hurts

Years ago, during a difficult time in her marriage, my niece called me. As we talked she asked if I ever had second thoughts about my marriage. I answered her with complete candor. “If I had known then what I know now I never would have dated him, let alone married him!”

My answer stunned her and she asked, “then why do you stay married to him?”

“Because,” I responded, “if I could know now what he will be like ten, twenty or thirty years in the future I may find myself saying I never would have wanted to marry anyone else.”

So often we get so caught up in the immediate world around us, tinted and splattered with dirt from the past that we have a hard time looking forward toward the beautiful colors awaiting us on the horizon…and that includes the beauty of marriage.

All of my children know one of the most important decisions they will make is who to marry. But I have also told my children that is just the easy, first decision. Each one of them, at some point after their marriage, will have to seriously decide whether or not to stay married.

It’s a test that all marriages must face it.

Some marriages and spouses will have to answer this question only once. Others seem to have to answer it on an almost daily basis.

The test, I tell them, isn't about whether or not they can get married. Any two people can do that. The real test is about deciding to stay married when things go bad...especially if they go really bad. When the immediate world around them gets dirty, when the mud from past decisions seems to cover their entire view, will they keep their eye on the horizon? Most importantly, when it’s hard to want to keep their promise to their spouse, will they keep their promise to the Lord?

There will be times when all of us will be disappointed by our chosen partner—deeply hurt, let down, offended or even ashamed. That is part of marriage. It is learning to deal with the deepest emotions of every kind, the good and the bad, when our hearts are so closely tied to the outcome.

There may be times—even long periods of time—when we don’t respect our spouse, don’t love our spouse, don’t even like our spouse. What then?

I love Proverbs 31, but verse 26 is especially poignant when marriages are struggling. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

It doesn’t matter how someone is treating us. What matters is how we treat them. When we are hurt, let us try to respond with kindness. When we are disappointed, let us try to announce our appreciation. When we are let down, let us find ways to give sincere compliments.

“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm…even so the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things.” (James 3:4-5)

When the words and actions of our spouses seem fierce, unforgiving, even harsh; when we feel the storm is too great to pass through, let us remember to find tiny ways to verbally express our love and appreciation to our spouses. And let us share with others, and the Lord, the things we appreciate and admire about our eternal companions.

The power of kind, gentle and soothing words is immeasurable...and we may find it can eventually turn even the largest, most storm-locked ships.

Remember, Christ also used words when he calmed the raging seas. And what did he speak?

“Peace.”

You married who??!!!

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How well I remember the phone call my husband received. His sister called to tell him the big news: she was engaged.

She then enthusiastically told him of every quality her future husband possessed. My husband hardly spoke at all.

After the phone call I asked my sweetheart, “So, how is he?”

“Apparently perfect.”

Smiling with knowledge I said, “Ask her if she still thinks he’s perfect 20 years from now.”

We both laughed over that one.

It has been said we should enter marriage with our eyes wide open and after marriage keep them half shut.

All too often the opposite happens. Because of giddy romance we don’t see clearly before marriage and after marriage our eyes fly open wide—in horror! We can’t believe we married that!!

Well, prior to my marriage I vowed I would find the perfect husband. I spent hours of teenage time creating lists of attributes he would have to have for me to love him for eternity. My list varied over time but the first five qualities were always the same: tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, love spaghetti, want to live in Arizona.

So, how did I do?

We live in Montana and I also struck out on the tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed pseudo Italian part. In fact, I can safely say that spaghetti is far down on his list of favorite meals.

But you know what? He eats it anyway! And there are times, when things are hectic at home, he actually suggests it for dinner--and even helps me make it! How can you not love a man like that? What I originally thought was a ‘weakness’ has endeared him to me more than if he loved spaghetti!

"I will make weak things become strong unto them," promised the Lord. (Ether 12:27)

We don’t need perfect spouses. (In fact, none of us have them.) But marriage isn’t about marrying perfect, it is about becoming perfect.

We must make the choice to keep our eyes wide open after marriage—in appreciation. We can and should see the sacrifices and small gestures of devotion that surround us…both spoken and unspoken. And then we should verbally express gratitude for them.

A friend and college professor said something very wise. “I find that when I remember to praise my students and point out their gifts and make assignments clear, their work improves as they try to meet that standard. Criticism never seems to bring improvement, although it is easier to give and seems so necessary. It also crushes the spirit.”

He is so right. Good feelings escalate and enlarge. Criticism defeats and deflates their spirit…not just in the classroom but in life.

Mostly, though, criticism crushes us.

“He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil and have that which is evil restored unto you.” (Helaman 14:31)

When we do something good for our spouses--when we praise them and point out their special gifts--our marriage improves, positive feelings and works escalate, and the Spirit returns.

It’s a promise and eternal principle from God--

“For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored.” Alma 41:15
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