Football miracle

This is a difficult blog to write. You may remember me blogging about football and the passion my son has for the sport. I have also written about those frightening hits in football that everyone hears.

My son was involved in one of those frightening hits during football camp. It was the kind of hit that causes the coaches on both sides of the line to feel their stomachs lurch and send them all running onto the field even before the players have climbed back to their feet.

But my son didn’t get back on his feet.

He lay on the field, his limbs convulsing spontaneously—the sign of severe spinal trauma. Though he remained conscious, he was unable to feel anything below his neck. He later told me it was the most frightening two or three minutes he has ever experienced.

When feeling did return to his limbs he knew one of his coaches was kneeling beside him, tightly holding his hand. “Mom, Coach Bryan never let go of my hand the rest of the time,” he said. "He stayed right there with me the whole time."

And they took time with him.

Finally, after taking all the precautions--including immobilizing his neck--the trainers and emergency staff decided he had experienced a severe back spasm. It was a hot day and my son has had leg cramps before. They iced his back and my son asked to go back into the game. He pestered. He said he was fine, just a bit sore. Reluctant, the coaches finally agreed.

My son finished that game as their running back and defensive end. An hour later he played, both ways, for a second full game.

In his positions he was a constant target. Each tackle, he told me, brought him excruciating pain. Even his head hurt with every step.

In one touchdown run, pain kept him from diving over the goal line and he was brought down one yard short. At any other time he would have made those final three feet but he told me later “it hurt too much Mom. I couldn’t do it.” He felt bad, genuinely hurt, that he'd let his teammates down.

No one knew he was playing with his back broken in two places.

When I picked up my son after the camp I knew instantly something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes. They were a different color.

We took him into the doctor and discovered the broken vertebrae and the dislocated neck.

The doctor told him he was lucky. He could have been paralyzed at any time. He was amazed my son had kept playing--even more amazed he had gotten up and walked away from each subsequent tackle.

Later, a back specialist confirmed what the first doctor told us. Then he said, “you need to realize how serious this injury is. If anything had been even a fraction of an inch different, you’d be in a wheelchair right now and you’d be there for the rest of your life.”

My son--who is so passionate about the game that he played football for two hours with a broken back--wept uncontrollably...not because of the possibilities but because of the reality. His football career was over. And I wept right along with him. There is deep, deep pain in seeing something taken from your child that means so much to him!

At some point, when the doctors left us alone, I told him, "Even though you don't feel like this is a blessing right now, you need to realize that the Lord truly protected you during that accident and has blessed you in every single step you've taken since."

Then I made a call to my husband who was out of town. He, too, was devasated--made worse by the distance and his inability to get back to us.

Though he couldn’t be there that night, he fulfilled his role as husband and father perfectly. He called a close friend and asked him to give our son a priesthood blessing that night.

The friend did--changing his schedule to help us through our crisis.

The blessing was the most amazing experience I and my son have ever had. Promises were made that astounded all of us, even our friend. The Spirit was tremendously strong...and with it came understanding and courage to move forward. And hope for my son's future.

Tonight my son is going to his team’s preseason scrimmage game. He will be on the sidelines, encouraging his teammates while wearing a back brace. But he will be standing and walking that sideline, something the doctors say is a miracle.

Because of the gift of the priesthood, we know that many more miracles are still ahead of him. I am anxious to see the 'other' miracles my son will experience in his life.



<--My son breaking tackles and heading for the goal line. His determination on the field follows him off the field, too.


Watching from the sidelines. He was never content to sit there long and, even with a broken back, he still isn't content to sit there. He now goes to every practice and helps with the coaching. His teammates have commented how much they appreciate having him there with them. -->



<-- Ready to face whatever is coming. Though his senior year dreams have suddenly changed, he's still ready to face whatever is coming.

A lesson from the earth.

Lately I’ve been enjoying some conversations about science and religion with Church members who are involved in various scientific fields and endeavors. Like them, I believe religion and science are more closely connected than we now know; and I disagree with scientists who say you can’t believe in God if you want to accept science. Phooey. (Those who claim that are probably too closed minded to even be in the scientific field. We all know any scientist worth his salt would never throw out any possibility.)

The other day, as I was doing some scientific and doctrinal research into the history of the world and its future, I made a startling, yet comforting realization.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints know that when God created the earth it was in a paradisiacal or terrestial state. Not fully glorified, but pretty close. Then Adam fell and that affected everything. (We also know that no choice affects you and you alone.) At that time the earth also ‘fell’ and became the telestial world we now know.

So here we all are: telestial bodies living on a telestial world.

Latter-day Saints also understand that when Christ comes again the world will “be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.” (See 10th Article of Faith.) Again, not fully glorified, but pretty close. During that time men on earth, under the direction of the Savior, will work hard to burn the leftovers of war, beat their swords into plows and restore the earth to its Edenic state. It will take time, years, to restore what was lost and fix the damage done.

Then, following this millennium of time, peace and work--and after a final test of conviction to the Lord--the earth will then pass away “and there shall be a new heaven and a new earth.” This ‘new earth’ shall be our earth in its glorified “sanctified, immortal and eternal state.” (See Revelations 4, D&C 29:22-24 and D&C 77.)

Can you see a familiar pattern there? The earth existed in God’s presence--not yet glorified but pretty good. It fell and left His presence, becoming a telestial sphere. Christ will return to the earth to help restore the earth to a higher state—not yet glorified but pretty good. Then, when all things are ready, the earth will finally be glorified.

It has taken, and will continue to take, quite a bit of time to get the earth glorified. In fact, you could say the creation of the earth still is not complete. It’s an ongoing process.

Now, people quibble over the age of the earth depending on whether they view the earth scientifically or Biblically. (And even those who believe in the Bible quarrel about the length of the creative period: was it six literal days or six figurative days?)

But the age of the earth really doesn’t matter. What matters is the lesson we learn from the earth and the hope it can give us. However you look at it, the earth has been in existence for a tad bit longer than my 48 years and it still is not glorified! It is still a work in progress.

Now, if the earth has been given that much time and even promised the personal help of the Savior to get it sanctified and ready to meet God, doesn’t the same truth apply to you and me? The worth of souls in great in the eyes of the Lord. We are His greatest creation! His entire work is directed at helping us become glorified; and He obviously plans for it to take a bit longer than 48 years.

Whew!

We don’t have to be perfect now. Our children and spouses don’t have to be perfect now. Neither do our neighbors. We just need to keep heading in that direction and appreciate the pattern He lovingly and quietly shared with us when He placed us on this wonderful, very long-term, work in progress we call Earth. The Earth is our testimony of hope.
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The problem with answering roughly

A great lesson for anyone in a position of leadership and guidance is found in 1 Kings 12. Rehoboam, son of Solomon, is the new king of Israel. Jeroboam, a leader from the tribe of Ephraim, joined other representatives from the other tribes of Israel and came to the new king, seeking an ease to their burdens. Solomon’s heavy building program and military requirements had taxed the people greatly both in time and monetary possessions.

The king listened to their grievances and told them to come back in three days for an answer.

During that time, “king Rehoboam consulted with the old men, that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people?”

“And they spake unto him, saying, If thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and wilt serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants for ever.”

Such wise words! If you want people to love you and follow you and be loyal to you—serve them, address and answer their needs, encourage and praise them with your words.

But Rehoboam didn’t like the counsel (it took too much effort on his part) so he went to his buddies, “The young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him:

"And he said unto them, What counsel give ye that we may answer this people, who have spoken to me, saying, Make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter?

“And the young men…spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people…My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins.

“And now whereas my father did lade you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke: my father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.”

Now, maybe his buddies justified the response by claiming if you give someone an inch they will take a mile. If you let them change your mind on one issue, they will be clamoring for you to change your mind on every issue. It could have been a classic fear-the-foot-in-the-door warning. They may have even told Rehoboam his kingdom was as stake, that this request meant a rebellion was brewing.

So, the king took their advice and “answered the people roughly.”

Well, he got his rebellion--because he started it. From that point on the family of Israel was divided.

Now let's fast-forward to our time. What do you do when your teenage son comes to you and says he’s tired of mowing the lawn every week; that he always has to do it? Do you sit down with him and say, yes, you have been mowing it every week for several years, what can I do to help make it easier? Or, do you answer him roughly, say it’s his responsibility and if he complains more about it you will make him weed the garden, too?

What about when your daughter comes and says she doesn’t have time to do the dishes tonight because she has to be to volleyball practice. Do you say she should have thought of that sooner and started her dishes earlier? Or, do you say let me go help you and we’ll try to get as much done together before you go?

What about with your spouse? If something they are doing, or not doing, is hurtful or disappointing, do you honestly think speaking roughly to them is the way to win their loyalty, get them to change, and improve your marriage?

Family life is no different now than in Rehoboam's time. While no family is perfect, more families should follow the first advice. We are here to serve one another, address and answer the needs of our children and our partners, to encourage and praise them with our words. Then we will have the love and loyalty in our families that will bind us together forever.

Sadly, however, I feel too many families follow the path of Rehoboam and answer each other roughly.

Remember the Savior’s words: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matt 23:11)

Isaiah spoke Messianically of this service in Isaiah 61:1-3. “The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings…bind up the brokenhearted…proclaim liberty to the captive…(open) the prison to them that are bound…give unto them beauty for ashes…praise for the spirit of heaviness.”

If we are to be like Christ and follow His example then we, too, must do the same. We must preach good tidings, not speak roughly. We must repair broken hearts and, when family members are held captive by the demands of life, we are to help them find more liberty, even go to work and open the prisons doors that stand in their way. We are called give them beauty and hope when their life is full of ashes, and encourage them with honest praise when they are burdened under the spirit of heaviness.

Then we are promised, in Isaiah 61: 4, the waste places will be built up, the former desolations will be repaired.

Our families will be built up and our relationships will be repaired. They will be ours forever...because they will want to be with us.
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Priesthood blessings

My son did something today I didn’t do until I was much older. He asked an older man, who is not a member of our church, if he would like his son, Brian, to receive a priesthood blessing. The man said yes.

We believe that worthy men can be called and ordained to the receive the priesthood. Christ had the priesthood. He was a high priest in the Melchezidek priesthood. (See Hebrews 5.) He gave this authority to his disciples. That priesthood authority is the power of God to officiate in His name and enact the ordinances of salvation. Another function of the priesthood is to give blessings to the sick, downtrodden and seeking.

A year and a half ago, Brian played on the same football team as two of my sons. One son, in particular, formed a close friendship with Brian. Together they worked to improve as football players year-round. They also went snowmobiling in the winter, floated the creek in the summer, and played video games often. Brian spent a lot of time at our house. He was always polite and fun. When I opened the door and saw him standing on our back step I always had to return his smile. He brightened everything with his fun, quiet nature.

After graduation, Brian received a scholarship to play football at college. He came to our house when he could but we didn’t see him as much as before. I missed him. I also worried about him. So did my son.

We knew Brian had begun drinking. He told my son several times he liked hanging out at our house and around his LDS friends because he didn’t feel he needed to drink to have fun. It was a different kind of fun. It was clean fun. He didn’t have to worry about what he did.

We asked Brian if he wanted to learn more about what we believed. He said, ‘definitely’ but we were slow in our follow-through and one lonely night Brian was involved in a drunk-driving accident. The accident left him in a coma for a month and now he is permanently brain-injured.

Recently, while visiting Brian, my son explained priesthood blessings to Brian’s father. He then asked his father if he would like Brian to receive a priesthood blessing. The man said yes. My son called, excited that we could help Brian and his family in a way no doctor or therapist could.

The call touched my heart. It took courage for my son, who is still in high school, to ask an adult such a question and explain priesthood blessings to him. It also took faith. How grateful I am that my son has faith in the power of the priesthood—faith enough to know that it can bless the lives of others--and faith enough in its importance to share that knowledge with a non-member.

I also feel very strongly the blessing won’t just bless Brian. It will bless my son and all those people who deeply love Brian, both on this side of the veil and the other. Furthermore, I strongly feel that there are those on the other side of the veil who have prayed that someone would offer to give their beloved Brian a priesthood blessing.

Priesthood blessings always touch more lives than one. And that is so appropriate, because Brian has also touched many more lives than one.

The clock is ticking.

My neighbor didn’t see me in the gym this morning and, upon arriving home, discovered the reason. I was in the yard, weeding. We laughed when I explained I’d probably be more sore after weeding than after hitting the treadmill.

The truth is, with limited time I had to make a choice.

Our conversation stayed with me as I dug and pulled at more weeds around the yard. I reflected on the choices we have to make every day and the fact that no one has enough time to accomplish everything on their “to do” list.

That means things will be left undone.

No one has enough money to handle every situation that comes their way. That means there will be financial stress.

No one has enough self-esteem that they don’t feel pain. That means there will be hurt and aching hearts.

The test was never meant to be about what we would do with enough. If so, we would all have enough, and to spare.

The test, then, has always been about what we will do when there is not enough! Will we still choose the Lord?

When time is tight, will we still go to church on Sunday or will we choose to work, recreate, or relax? With limited time, will we choose to read the scriptures each day or pray, or will we choose some other worldly thing to fill our day?

When money is tight, will we still choose to share tithes and offerings with the Lord? Will we choose to send our children on missions or go ourselves? Will we serve others with those funds, or will we spend that money on things for us?

When someone offends us, will we choose to do as the Lord has asked and forgive them, or repent and change if they are right? Or will we choose to brood and sulk, blame others, blame the church, or even blame the Lord?

Each choice truly is ours.

Our love for the Lord isn’t found in a singular decision of devotion that will carry us for the rest of our life. It is announced in each of those daily, quiet moments when we realize we don’t have enough. Will we still choose the Lord?

Especially when we lack, I think the best choice is always the Lord.
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The parable and miracle of the goldfish

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Our day started out with a death and a trash can burial. A silver-colored goldfish, named Smokey, jumped out of the aquarium at some point in the night and we found him on the floor this morning—stiff and dry. All traces of water on the hardwood floor from his unexpected arrival in our waterless world had long since dried up. Even the floor directly beneath his body was dry.

Four years ago, we purchased Smokey from a tank of mostly dead and sickly feeder goldfish. He cost us 10 cents. We had saved him, along with several others feeder fish that day. Now our rescue fish was dead, lying on the hardwood floor, dark and stiff.

Feeling sorrow for his lonely death, I picked him up by the hard tail fin, carried him into the kitchen and buried him in the trash can. At the breakfast table, my children saw and they, too, expressed sadness at his demise. After all, Smokey had lived for several years, grown to be the second largest in size, and was the only silver goldfish in the group.

During breakfast my children reminisced about Smokey while I started doing dishes. But I keep hearing the Spirit whisper to me. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die this way. Give him a chance to live.”

You may recall the Spirit's whispering on behalf of the world's grumpiest cockatiel (see my March blog) Yet this fish was dead. This whispering was after the trauma, not before.

Then I recalled a similar fish incident years ago, when my firstborn child was only two. He decided to go ‘fishing’ in our tank and managed to catch one of the fish. When he proudly told my of his feat I looked in the tank and, sure enough, one fish was missing. I went searching for the fish. After an hour and a half I found him. He had flipped up under the couch and was dry and stiff. As I picked up my son’s ‘catch’ to throw it in the trash can I saw its gill move. Quickly I filled a bowl with water and dropped in the fish. He started breathing and went on to live for several more years.

Now, as I did the dishes, the whispering continued. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die like this. Give him a chance to live.”

So, when my children were not looking, I retrieved Smokey from the trash can, filled up a bowl with water from his fish tank and dropped in the fish. By this time he had been in the trash can for 45 minutes and on the floor for much longer (possibly hours) yet, amazingly, he immediately responded and started to breathe.

In the photo below he has been in the bowl for half an hour and is almost completely upright.



I still didn’t tell my children—I didn’t want them to get their hopes up—so I sent them to school and continued to watch Smokey’s recovery. Within an hour he was swimming upright, though rather slowly, and I put him back into the tank.

I then went to the gym to work out. While on the treadmill my heart, and even my prayers, went out to this little fish. I don’t feel guilty praying for animals. I don't feel anyone should. I have come to know in my life that God loves all His creations, even the animals.

As I jogged I realized that Smokey had not jumped out of the tank on purpose. In the guise of ‘having a good time’ Smokey obviously went a bit too far and landed outside the safety of the water. There he found himself alone and needing help. He floundered and fought for life yet could do nothing to save himself until, finally, he succumbed to the consequences of his actions.

And then I thought of those people I know and I saw a gospel parallel. Often, in the guise of ‘having a good time,’ people go a bit too far and land outside the safety of the living water of the gospel. They break the commandments, they don’t feel they need to be in Church, but they are floundering and, soon enough, they will face the full effects of their actions. They can't save themselves. None of us can. That's why we all need Christ yet, if someone isn’t physically there to help those struggling in this life, the consequences can result in spiritual death, the drying up of a testimony and the stiffening of a soul.

We all know and love people like that. Maybe we see them and feel they are, somehow, too far gone to help. We may have even mentally placed them in the trash can of life, claiming they are gone for good.

Yet “Don’t give up on him yet” is powerful advice for all of us! The Lord runs on a different timetable. He doesn't care how long we've lain spiritual dead or even been in the trash can of life. He just wants someone to pull out each precious soul and give them a chance to live. There is no one so far gone, or so long gone that the Savior cannot yet reach them. We just have to keep trying. We should never give up on anyone!

And the Spirit also taught me another truth. By not telling my children that I had placed Smokey back into a bowl of water, I thought I was protecting them from disappointment in case he should die later. What the Spirit told me was that I had cut my children and Smokey off from the power of prayer. That was not a door for me to close for anyone or anything.

So, as I ran on the treadmill this morning I prayed for those friends of mine outside of the living water of the Gospel. If the Lord clearly tells me to not give up on a goldfish, I know He does not want me to give up on them!

I also prayed for forgiveness for not allowing my children to tap into the greatest power they possess…the power of prayer. I asked that my lesson to learn be mine alone, without Smokey or my children suffering.

And, so far, the Lord heard those prayers. Smokey is swimming with more strength and his fins are starting to open again. And my children have seen a miracle.

Great miracles and lessons often come in little packages.




Smokey, front and center, back in the tank where he belongs.
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Speaking in church? No problem, most just read.

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I carry in my scriptures a quote from Spencer W. Kimball. It says, “The Savior has told us to feed his sheep. I fear that all too often many of our members come to church, sit through a class or meeting, and they then return home having been largely uniformed. It is especially unfortunate when this happens at a time they may be entering a period of stress, temptation, or crisis. We all need to be touched and nurtured by the Spirit, and effective teaching is one of the most important ways this can happen. We often do vigorous enlistment work to get members to come to church but then do not adequately watch over what they receive when they do come.”

Pres. Kimball spoke this in the October 1980 conference. So important was this statement that he repeated it, verbatim, a second time in the October 1981 conference.

During another discourse, Spencer W. Kimball said that those who passed by the Good Samaritan and did nothing to help will be held partially accountable for the pain and suffering the man endured from the moment they could have helped and did not but, instead, chose to pass by.

Think about that story. Do you realize the Levite and the priest were on the same road as the wounded man? They were within reaching distance yet they chose to focus only on their own concerns and walk on by. Maybe they were nervous. Maybe they were genuinely afraid. Whatever their reason, they did not trust Him to help them help another.

Now apply that to the calling to speak or teach. As speakers and teachers, we are standing on the same road as many members--some who may be spiritually wounded or malnourished. We may console ourselves by saying “I’m not a teacher” or “I’m terrified of speaking in public” but, no matter what our Levitical or priestly rationalization is, it is our duty to feed and care for His sheep! And, like the prophet said, I believe we will be held partially accountable for those members and investigators who go home unnourished if we did not adequately prepare to feed them while they were in our hands at Church.

And that is especially true with those in our classrooms or congregations who have come seeking spiritual uplift and light during a period of stress, temptation or crisis. We may not know who they are but in every class and in every congregation someone is crying out for Spiritual sustenance...sustenance we have been asked to give them that day.

It is our calling to prepare. It is their calling to come. They have done their job. They are there, waiting for us to feed them the message we have been asked to share with them. If there is a failure, it is usually on the part of the speaking or teaching shepherd, not the sheep. We must do better if we are going to change hearts and strengthen souls.

Now, I know not everyone is a public speaker but speaking or teaching in public is improved if we learn and apply this simple truth.

Do not read!

I tell my children they need to know their talks well enough that, if they are sitting on the stand and suddenly can’t find their notes they could still give the talk and do a good job. The same is true with each lesson. Know your material well enough that you could give it without the manual if you had to. That kind of preparation won’t happen by starting on Saturday night. You have to start preparing as soon as you are asked to teach or talk.

Yes, I know some weeks are hectic but, even then, preparation is essential and possible. During one hectic period of his life, my brother worked a job that required he leave the house between 7 and 8 in the morning. Often he did not get home from work until after 10 at night.

During that demanding time he was called to be an early morning seminary teacher. He had every right to turn it down but he did not. He chose to accept the Lord’s call and I learned a great truth because he did what he was asked to do.

The church was 40 minutes from their home. He had to get up at 4 a.m. each morning to be to seminary on time and have a bit of time to prepare. I asked his wife how he managed to find time to study a lesson each day with the demands of work. She said he often told her he was grateful he had spent time preparing his whole life through diligent scripture study and prayer. On days when he just did not have time, the Lord blessed him because he already had prepared…for years. Thankfully, my brother never read the lessons to the students as a cop-out. He taught them, with the Spirit, because he had spent a lifetime preparing.

When a speaker reads their talk, they are relying on the arm of flesh, called pen and paper, rather than on the Spirit to guide their words. True, they may have felt the Spirit guiding them as they wrote those things down but now they need to trust the Spirit, not the paper, to guide them as they share those thoughts and ideas.

More than once in the Book of Mormon the writers comment that the written word lacks the power of the spoken word. That is true in sacrament meeting talks and Sunday School lessons.

“When a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)

When reading must be done, keep the quotes and passages short. If they are long, select only the best or break it up into several short readings. Why? Because reading is what you do to put children to sleep at night! Do you think reading in Church causes a different reaction? No. If you read for longer than about a minute, people are sleeping.

Also, when we read our eyes are pointed downward. We cannot see the faces of those we teach and cannot read if they are being fed. We must see their faces to view their hearts!

Finally, we are not called to read in church, we are called to speak. We are not called to read in class, we are called to teach. There is a mighty difference.

Teachers and speakers will never know the power they can have until they learn to trust that Power and speak and teach, not read, from the heart.
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